#i love giving them more weird cat-coded quirks

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 20

welcome to the twentieth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics. 

1. for we are the beautiful thieves by @caimani-ao3

Keith and Lance go undercover (sort of) at General Iverson's gala to steal back an Altean artifact the general stole while treasure-hunting. Keith's job? Sneaking away in the middle of the party to find the artifact. Lance's job? Looking pretty in a dress.

love love LOVE adventure fics this shit ROCKS. voltron?? thief archeologists whose main goal is to steal artefacts from rich asshole collectors and return them to where they came from?? iconique!! klance playing the pretty distrction?? iconique moreso!! 

2. ring my bell by @dumdum692 [EXPLICIT]

And granted, Keith has always been a sore spot for him in this way; Lance has always felt at odds with his domesticated temperament, and Keith holds absolutely none of that. Keith doesn't give two whopping shits about getting pimples, or if Stacy in English class thinks he has bad breath. Keith isn't standing zombie-eyed in the purple lights of a party, plotting woe-is-me narratives of his own melancholia and loneliness, gazing detachedly into a red Solo cup full of jungle juice - he just is, and that's always made Lance, in equal parts, devastatingly embarrassed and devastatingly horny.

Sadly, this scale weights significantly more towards the horny end as of late, because Keith is developing quite a few, very distinctly Galra characteristics, and it's driving Lance absolutely buck fucking nuts.

______________________________________________

Keith goes through puberty. Devastation ensues.

this fic is a proud truther of two important things: a) lance’s type is literally anyone who can kick his ass and look good doing it, and b) lance has a big vocabulary entirely so he can be as melodramatic as possible whenever he so pleases. and i for one am thankful for its service.

3. Cross My Path by @wittyy-name [EXPLICIT]

Lance owns a witch themed cat cafe that rescues black cats. Each one has a unique collar and color coded name to help tell them apart. He's not supposed to play favorites, but he's already adopted his favorite, Red, as his own. Cold and distant to everyone, Red is extremely affectionate to Lance. Needy. Clingy. Protective. But Lance doesn't mind. He makes Lance's home a little less lonely. He's a little weird, but aren't all cats? He loves his baby boy, and he's eternally grateful for the day that little black fluff ball crossed his path.

Lance doesn't think twice about Red's odd quirks. That is, until he wakes up with a naked stranger in his bed.

And hey! Turns out Red is actually a witch named Keith who's been cursed to be a cat for twenty years. A really hot witch who's still very affectionate towards Lance.

any fic that’s tagged with catboy keith is a winner in my book tbh. and this fic is AMAZING the entire concept is unbelievably cool and the storyline is adorable!! also healthy relationship boundaries and expectations for the win!! plus rough sex also!!

4. know by petalloso

Keith couldn’t feel his legs. Upon further realization, he couldn’t feel his arms either, or his hands. He could, however, feel Lance’s hands, and they were all over him, running up and down his chest in inspection, tilting his chin this way and that, pulling him up from the floor where he figured he’d landed probably because his knees had just given out on him.

“Stupid,” he heard Lance say. “You blew out your legs.”

those 2016 fics man!! they never miss they just dont!! insane to me that this author apologises for being ooc as if their portrayal of keith is not the most in character portrayal possibly ever lol. AND this fic has oldest child lance my beloved

5. stud by petalloso

“Ow.”

Keith stops in his tracks, listening. The voice comes again, louder and more elongated this time, muffled behind the door.

“Ouch,” it says, and then, “shit shit shit.”

lance IS the type of impulsive dumbass to pierce is own ears, and i thank this writer greatly for pointing that out. this fic is cute and sweet and silly which are my three for three basically

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #16- All the Greatest Love Songs are Secretly About Heroin

Dang, been a minute since we got into the series proper. What all happened again?

Oh. Right. That.

…So anyway, let’s brush up on our Ultra Magnus history!

There was a massive fight on top of a spaceship. Swoop was there, Impactor was there, Overlord was there, Heretech was there, Killmaster was there- shit was lit. Ultra Magnus was doing his thing, though it looks like this was before he got LASIK done, because he’s got a visor on.

Then Ultra Magnus got shot in the gut and fell off the spaceship. It was so scary his hand started spasming.

Later on, we return to a place we’ve seen before, albeit from the Decepticon side.

Magnus, your badge isn’t up to code, my guy! Better get that sorted, before your current self comes out of his medically induced coma, invents time travel, and comes to beat you up.

Also, Pious Maximus? What is your friggin’ DEAL, bro? What the actual hell is your deal?

All the K-Cons start falling out of the sky, and Magnus orders everyone to take cover, as a familiar-looking bomb that literally has his name written on it lands bang on target. It’s such an intense experience, his hands start spasming.

Later still, Magnus is in the middle of dealing with the Simanzi Massacre, and it looks like his visor’s seen better days. Hopefully it was a reading pair, and not something he actually needed to see. Rotorstorm is also there, because his character apparently only exists to suffer. Magnus and his team rise from the muck and the mire, coming ashore right on top of a Cybernought, which promptly fries Magnus with its hand lasers. He gets so crispy, his hands start spasming.

For anyone having trouble parsing the scraps of rended metal that used to be Rewind of Lower Petrohex here, allow me a moment to break him down. That cylinder in the lower left corner is his camera, the wire coming off of it is where it plugged into his head, and that squarish chunk with the clean, round hole in it is probably part of his helmet. The other chunky bits I couldn’t tell you what they are, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that Chromedome absolutely put the dog to sleep with that blast last issue.

Inside the Lost Light, Swerve’s trying to be a nice guy by putting on some tunes for Ultra Magnus, who got his spark shot by Overlord last issue, but all it’s really done is make Ratchet get distracted.

Magnus is in a bad way, as was established by First Aid last issue, and it doesn’t seem like Ratchet’s having any more luck than had been predicted. Swerve’s here for emotional support, and also because he’s got medical training. Tailgate’s here for cleanup duty. Drift’s off in the corner making snide remarks about the medical equipment, probably because he’s mad his legs are still off.

Drift looks like he’s been chiseled out of stone here, and I kind of love it. Forget softboi uwu Dwift, I want more of this guy who’ll bite into a teddybear cactus and not even flinch.

Agustin Padilla’s back on the scene for this issue, and he’s decided that everyone’s going to be elongated in as many ways as he can manage in 20 pages. Tailgate and Swerve? Tallest they’ll ever be in the series. They’re as tall as Cyclonus, and he’s a fucking space jet. Someone’s got a chevron? You better believe that thing’s scraping the gotdang ceiling. Drift’s kitty-cat ears almost never fit into the panel, because those suckers are LONG today. It’s like they’ve all been put through a taffy-puller. There are a lot of little quirks with this art, but this is one I can kind of get behind, if only because it’s so distinctive.

Getting back to the story, Drift’s talking about the Death Clock here- no, not the animated band from Adult Swim, but an actual medical device that can calculate the moment a shrinking spark will give out, down to the second. It only measures the lifespans of the terminally ill, so Swerve hasn’t accidentally given himself even more depression by sticking his little hands in the shiny light without a thought as to what the device he’s messing with might do.

Ultra Magnus has about ten days to live. This makes Tailgate incredibly upset, because he, unlike everyone else on the ship, hasn’t experienced the horrors of war and death.

Ratchet’s right, though. There’s certainly a chance that Tailgate, who’s been shown to react to stressful situations by having panic attacks to the point of blacking out, could have a very severe response to what is his first major catastrophe. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder usually isn’t an immediate development, but being proactive about your mental health is never a bad thing if you can swing it. Hell, with how bad the Overlord situation was, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rung was booked solid long enough for Tailgate to actually have time to develop PTSD.

Rodimus is on the intercom to address the situation that just took place, because man oh man, was it a doozy. He intends to hold an inquiry to figure out just what the hell happened and how Overlord got on the Lost Light to begin with. As he tells everyone what’s going to happen, our focus shifts to Chromedome, who’s standing on the outside of the ship, staring off into space.

Man, I hope Chromedome’s on the front half, because this is a fucking grim scene to witness.

Skids comes out, having been looking for Chromedome. Trailcutter of all people pointed him in the right direction- which I suppose makes sense, given that he was on the Ethics Committee on Kimia. He probably would know Chromedome and Rewind decently well by this point.

Chromedome turns around to show off his mourning black Autobot badge, freshly photoshopped onto his chest for our viewing pleasure. It’s especially blatant when contrasting with Padilla’s rougher linework style.

Skids asks our brand-new widower how he’s holding up, and Chromedome says he’s fine, which is funny, because the other day he was all:

Chromedome has a moment of reminiscing, playing connect-the-dots with the stars like he and Rewind used to do all the time.

Skids, they were married for 250,000 years.

Skids might actually have been one of the worse people to have found Chromedome, if this is what he’s going to say, and then immediately leave. He’s so awkward and clearly uncomfortable and doesn’t want to be there. Does he feel weird about Chromedome knowing more about him than he himself does? Does Skids not have access to any of his memories related to mourning? Geez, I hope nobody needs him to help them through a difficult emotional time for a good while, because this was painful to watch.

Back inside the ship, Rung’s come over to Rodimus’ room to see what all the crashing and banging is about. It would seem our dear captain’s upset, and has decided to work through his frustrations by destroying his private quarters, perhaps in an attempt to summon the wrath of Ultra Magnus, thus saving him through the power of his own mess-induced rage. Rung comes to sit with Rodimus, I guess giving up his search for Chromedome, and the two of them discuss Magnus. Specifically, they discuss Magnus’ memos, and how much Rodimus despises receiving them, because they make him feel like he’s not doing his job right. He stopped even opening them, they made him feel so bad.

If you subscribe to the headcanon of Rodimus having ADHD, you could potentially read this as being a manifestation of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. As it is within the story proper, Rung’s decided to ignore this tidbit of information to get at the more pressing issues, like why exactly Rodimus felt the need to wreck his room.

This is about the point where the art for Rodimus becomes roughly 90% spot blacks, and it’s highly suggested that Rung get out while the getting’s good.

Oh, well this is going to be awkward.

Later on, we’re at the funeral. There’s five coffins, though not all of them actually contain a body. Everyone’s here to see their friends off, even Cyclonus, who was invited to the wake by Chromedome himself. Awful nice of him to do that, given their history.

The lineup in the front row is a bunch of chatterboxes, and they prove that very quickly as Swerve, Skids, and Whirl theorize on the contents of Brainstorm’s mysterious briefcase, which is also here at the funeral. Swerve swears himself to the duty of finding out what’s inside, on threat of death should he fail.

A short time skip is had, and Rodimus is revealed to be wearing his ceremonial funeral cape and terrifying vampire arm spikes to this shindig, as he sends Tripodeca, who is surely the most beloved of all Autobots, off with as many kind words as he can muster in the time they have. Everyone says goodbye, and we get to Rewind’s turn. Rodimus has a moment of pause, as Rung gives him the most withering look I believe he will ever produce in the entirety of the run of MTMTE/Lost Light.

Rodimus concedes to giving Rewind the credit for saving everyone from Overlord posthumously, as well as Fortress Maximus and Chromedome, labelling himself as a failure on that front. Chromedome comes up to the podium for a few words on the love of his life.

…well, it’s been a long day for everyone, I suppose.

Chromedome sits back down, right next to Brainstorm because they’re besties, as Brainstorm stares him down like he knows something Chromedome doesn’t.

Probably because he does.

After the funeral, Brainstorm pays Chromedome a visit, finding him in the middle of spring cleaning. He’s taking all of Rewind’s stuff and shoving it in a box to be destroyed.

Does it count as foreshadowing if it’s like a page before the reveal? I guess so.

Chromedome is trying to ease Brainstorm’s mind about the inquiry Rodimus is conducting, saying that the guy ought to talk to Drift before he gets TOO antsy about spilling the beans- perhaps a touch too late there, Domey- but Brainstorm isn’t here for any of that.

So you’re saying Chromedome/Dominus isn’t going to be endgame.

Turns out Chromedome’s been collecting dead spouses, and he wasn’t even aware of it. When faced with this inherent truth about his personal relationship with grief, Chromedome only has this to say:

Time for a pop quiz!

When the burden of life is too much to bear, what is an addict most likely to do? Is it:

A) Quit cold turkey

B) Seek help for their addiction

C) Relapse

If you answered C, you get a gold star, and a harsh reminder that addiction is a fucking monster that will devour your life and meaningful relationships, leaving you with nothing but itself for company.

Chromedome has had a problem with injecting since he got good enough at it to get his own set of finger needles, and he’s been completely dependent on other people to get himself to even close to stopping the habit. His character bio on the crew roster page has, up until this point, outright claimed this.

Now Rewind’s gone, and there’s really nothing stopping him from just taking that pain away. Brainstorm certainly can’t do it, though not for lack of trying.

Chromedome says that he won’t go through with his plan, but Brainstorm knows he’s lying, because they’ve done this song and dance before. At this point, asking Chromedome to not inject is just a courtesy to the deceased.

No wonder Chromedome invited Cyclonus to the funeral- probably figured why the hell not, since he wouldn’t remember it anyway.

Brainstorm gives Chromedome a data slug- the last one Rewind ever made, shot through the door just before it sliced Chromedome’s arm off, and found by Fort Max. Brainstorm leaves, probably to go prepare himself for that awful, hollow feeling he’ll be getting the next time he sees Chromedome.

Over in the shuttle bay, Rodimus is addressing the crew, Chromedome is retconned into being Toxin because he’s not supposed to be in this scene, and Drift is named as the sole conspirator in the Overlord debacle. Rodimus just starts tearing into Drift, and while he does, we cut over to the medibay, where some zombie nonsense is going on.

Golly, seems like there’s some flavor of undead on the Lost Light every other week, doesn’t it?

Rodimus strips Drift of his Autobot badge and tells him to get the fuck out.

Back at Chromedome’s room, he’s decided to take a gander at what Rewind left behind, plugging the data slug into the computer.

Man, this part always makes me a little weepy.

I can’t do Rewind’s final message justice, not in the choppy format I present here- which is perhaps a bit ironic, given the nature of how it’s presented. In the final moments he had, Rewind pieced together a plea for Chromedome to love himself, and to remember that he was- and still is- loved. He shared his own fears of them being apart, and how he knows how hard the coming days will be. He begged Chromedome to be kind to himself, because he- whether he believes it or not- has grown from the person he was in the New Institute.

As this message plays out, we see Drift swarmed by furious Autobots, who get violent as he makes his way off the Lost Light, only to be helped back to his feet by none other than Ratchet, before climbing into a shuttle, surely never to be seen again.

Shane McCarthy slipped Roberts a twenty to set up a slowburn between his OC and Ratchet all the way back in MTMTE #4. This is the start of the pining portion of their relationship.

God, just- there’s a reason Roberts has claimed this issue as one of his best, and it’s this fucking message. Please, if you somehow have gotten to this post without reading the comics- well, first, how, and second- go and READ THEM. I promise it’s worth it, they’re beautiful and funny and full of heart, even when everyone’s being a dick to each other.

Rewind leaves Chromedome with one final piece, which probably didn’t feel like enough, but was all he could manage in the time he had left.

I’m basically legally obligated to post this panel.

Let’s take a moment to consider Rewind as a character. He’s an archivist, and one who’s gotten very good at his job over the millennia. The guy’s OBSESSED with history, and recording as much of it as possible.

Which stands to reason that he knew about Chromedome’s past conjunx endurae. I mean, why wouldn’t he? It would be public record- even if you don’t necessarily get a marriage license on Cybertron, Chromedome would have been on the paperwork with these other guys somewhere, and the fact that he wouldn’t be able to answer the question of “Who’s this guy you lived with for several thousand years?” Would imply some… rather unfortunate things.

Rewind also has a hard time letting go of things- he gets jealous of Chromedome’s past relationship with Prowl any time it’s brought up, and he’s still looking for his ex-husband after what’s probably been at least a million years. That, combined with the way Rewind lives his life- you know, recording every single moment of it- gives me the impression that he really, really wouldn’t enjoy the idea of being forgotten. He wants Chromedome to stop injecting because it’ll kill him, of course he does, but he also wouldn’t want to be erased.

The video cuts off, leaving Chromedome alone. It’s all up to him now, whether Rewind gets to stay in his heart now.

Chromedome/Dominus is still on the table.

With THAT crisis of love dealt with, we move back on to that weird zombie nonsense we saw a little bit ago. Ultra Magnus is missing. Odd, that.

Ratchet, how many times are your patients going to have to disappear from your medibay before it’s less of a “them” problem, and more of a “you” problem?

As Ratchet goes off to search the rest of the ward, Tailgate accidentally bumps into the death clock, which gives him a nasty little surprise: apparently he’s only got three days to live.

Yeah, this is the point where the comic kicks into overdrive, plotwise- there are no brakes on this train anymore.

[fictorium]

Hey sugar lips... you still taking prompts? #46

Sure am honey pie!

#46 “What happens if I do this?

Kara waited until Eliza had dozed off in front of a rerun of The Lion in Winter, Alex and Kelly having already retreated upstairs before the movie started. Their fake yawns had been so transparent that Kara had to smile. The house in Midvale was as still and peaceful as it ever had been, but for Kara it was just that little bit lonely too.

Stepping out on the porch she found her way to the old swing and settled in. She didn’t need the blanket for warmth, but reached for it anyway. From there she had a perfect view of the night sky, one expanding further and deeper than Eliza’s much-loved telescope, which sat waiting for its next search.

Kara watched the stars for a while, looking for patterns that she knew weren’t visible from this planet. Every so often she could convince herself the stars of Orion’s Belt had realigned to form constellations relating to Rao, but it was just a trick her mind liked to play on her.

“Kara?”

She hadn’t heard Eliza wake or come looking for her. Kara gave her a sheepish smile.

“Sorry I left before the movie ended. I just wanted some alone time I guess.”

Eliza came to sit beside her. “I’d say you’ve had a little too much of that lately. Alex told me about your… falling out with Lena. And I know James left, just like Winn did, and Mon-El before that.”

“People leave,” Kara said, dropping her head on Eliza’s shoulder. “Or they send you away. Sometimes you lose them and sometimes you find a way to get them back. I still have friends, good ones. And Alex, of course.”

“You don’t have to put on a brave front for me, Kara. It’s okay to miss someone. One special someone most of all. I know things haven’t been the same… since she sold CatCo. That was a big betrayal for you.”

“It wasn’t so bad. Andrea is difficult but—“

“Honey, I don’t mean that sale.”

“Oh. Oh. I didn’t… I mean I don’t… Ms Grant has probably forgotten all about me by now. Last I heard she was in Gotham. Or Metropolis. Either way, she’s busy.”

Eliza gave Kara a reassuring pat on the cheek. “You forget that I’ve seen you together. I’ve seen how you look at her, and not just that silly crush you had while she was on television. You didn’t see how she watched you as you gave that speech and saved everyone from Myriad. People don’t forget someone like that.”

Kara felt the tears welling up as they had so many times before. “Then why didn’t she come back? She said she wasn’t going anywhere and then she was gone.”

“I think,” Eliza replied, shrugging Kara from her shoulder and turning to face her fully. “I think that’s something you have to ask her. Do you know where she is right now? You could call. Or better yet…”

Without thinking, Kara closed her eyes and let her hearing roam. Within seconds she had traced that familiar heartbeat, just a little out of step with the ones around it. Cat Grant was always unique.

“She’s at her family home, in Metropolis. Weird, she doesn’t usually spend time with her mother out there.”

“Well I’m going to make some tea, and take that book you got me to bed. I won’t listen for you coming upstairs.”

“Eliza?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Kara stood and watched her foster mother go inside. Before she could talk herself out of it, Kara raised herself up on tip toes and closed her eyes, feeling the night breeze whispering across her skin. It was barely nine in Metropolis. She could be there and back in minutes if she pushed it.

Decision made, Kara raised her arms like in the old prayers to Rao, and rocketed into the night sky.

The house was all but in darkness when Kara landed on the roof. She’d circled a few times before approaching, listening to Cat’s heartbeat vary as she moved from room to room, restless. Kara could have used her x-ray vision to see exactly what was happening, but it felt like too much of an intrusion. Instead she waited on the roof, knowing that Cat was a creature of habit, and eventually she always sought out higher ground.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later Cat walked through the room directly beneath Kara in the tall brownstone, and came out onto a small stone balcony that overlooked the slightly tangled gardens.

“If you’re one of the Bats or the Spiders, I’m not in the mood,” Cat said without looking round. “And I happen to know Superman is on bottle feed duty tonight, so I doubt he’s the one lurking on my roof.”

“Hey,” Kara said, dropping down beside Cat. She hadn’t bothered to change into her suit. There was no point pretending she hadn’t heard Cat calling her Supergirl last time they were together. “How did you know anyone was there?”

“My mother had an impressive security system. Courtesy of yours truly, of course. You wouldn’t believe how many two-bit villains thought going after her would bother me in some way.”

Cat hadn’t looked at her yet, so Kara took up the spot next to her, leaning on the balcony, propped up on her elbows to mirror Cat’s position. The only difference was that Cat was nursing a heavy crystal tumbler in her left hand, the liquid in it almost gone. Kara could smell the rich, peaty Scotch along with the fading notes of Cat’s perfume, something with a woody undertone that Kara hadn’t realized she missed quite so much. It was as comforting as the scent from her sheets on her bed at Eliza’s, but at the same time it sparked that low heat in Kara’s belly that she’d gotten so good at ignoring.

“You look good,” Kara said, not least because it had the benefit of being true. Cat had let her hair grow, and she was wearing it straighter. It made her look younger, not that Kara would ever say such a thing out loud; Cat Grant was stunning for any age. The black dress was pretty plain by Cat’s usual standards - no interesting geometry or leather panels anywhere that Kara could see.

Cat’s response was just a quirk of her lips, a smile that never quite made it all the way into being.

“Cat? I’ve never known you to ignore a compliment. Is everything okay? How’s Carter?”

“Fine, fine,” Cat replied, finishing her drink. “Well, mostly fine. He’s almost sixteen now, and things have been… difficult these past few months. But he was with me for all this, of course. Now he and Adam have gone to Opal City, so at least it’s nice to see them getting along.”

“All this?” Kara repeated.

“The funeral. I assume that’s why you’re here. You heard about my mother and came to make sure we salted the earth after we buried her.” Cat’s words were as disgruntled as ever on the topic of her mother, but Kara could tell her heart wasn’t in it. Even if they hadn’t gotten along, Cat had still lost her mom.

“I… didn’t know,” Kara had to admit. “I was at home, in Midvale, and I realized… well, it doesn’t matter now. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Cat shook her head. “Not even Supergirl has power over death. I see you’ve taken to flying in civilian clothes. Risky.”

“I flew high, and it’s cloudy.”

“Still. I worry about you, Kara. Not about you losing a fight, or coming across a scary new alien. I worry about you being exposed, about you losing the things that make you… like this.”

“Your mom died and you’re worrying about me losing my privacy?” Kara didn’t understand, even though she was one of the few people who’d really seen the depth of Cat’s compassion and empathy. “You’re right, though. It’s been close a few times. The new administration wanted to know everything, wanted to take away everything that lets me feel normal. I’m used to it by now.”

“I threatened you, before. With exposing everything.”

Kara nodded. She had forgiven Cat a lot of things, but they weren’t all forgotten. “You were trying to win an argument. It’s like Monopoly, you don’t necessarily play by the rules. I trust you now, for what it’s worth. Or I wouldn’t have flown here in leggings and a sweater.”

“Yes. Just as well there’s no dress code,” Cat replied with a pointed sweep of Kara’s clothing. “Though the thought of my mother’s face, seeing you dressed like that… you’ve brought a little light into my day as always, Kara.”

Although she was clearly attempting her usual dry humor, Cat’s mouth crumpled just a little around the words. Kara didn’t even think before pulling Cat into a full-body hug that felt better than anything had in a really long time. It didn’t take long for the shoulder area to become damp with Cat’s tears.

“We can go inside?” Kara suggested when Cat finally settled in her careful embrace, her right hand clutching the soft material of Kara’s top just above her heart. The same heart that was beating twice as fast as normal.

“No. Everything in there is her. It’s suffocating, even now.”

“Where would you like to go?”

“Surprise me,” Cat said.

Kara considered for a moment, looking out over the semi-familiar Metropolis skyline. “I could have ended up here, you know. If my cousin had taken me in.”

“No, you ended up exactly where you were supposed to. In Middlebottom--”

“Midvale.”

“Right, Midvale,” Cat continued without any hint of embarrassment. “And then in National City, with me.”

Kara didn’t have the words to reply to that, not yet, and so she pulled Cat close and shot them both across the city to a far less fancy district: the still-bustling streets of downtown. They alighted on the giant piece of metal atop the Daily Planet building, and Kara sat Cat carefully on the flattest part so they could sit together comfortably.

“Ta da?” Kara tried, smiling at Cat with all the affection that was threatening to pour out of her. “I put you on top of the world.”

“Perry White would be furious!” Cat kicked her legs up with something like glee. “Oh, he was always forbidding employees to come up to the roof. This is perfect. Wait,” she added, taking out her phone and snapping a selfie with her location quite obvious to anyone with half a clue. “I’ll send that to him later.”

“I’m glad I could give you something nice,” Kara said, offering her arm to wrap around Cat and being silently thrilled when Cat nestled into her side without any more prompting. “You deserve nice things, Cat.”

“Even though I left you? That’s the part you keep not saying.” Cat didn’t look up at Kara to see her point land, they both knew it had.

“You did. But I came after you, eventually. Isn’t that what people do? Go after what they want?”

“Kara--”

“Of course, I didn’t know about all this with your mom. So I can wait. I can put this all on hold and be a friend to you. I’m happy to do it.”

“Everything is up in the air,” Cat said, gesturing at the giant drop below them. “Quite literally right now. I don’t know what happens next, so I can’t promise you anything.”

“What happens if I do this?” Kara asked, summoning every last scrap of her courage into one finger, using it to gently touch Cat’s chin and tilt her face up toward Kara’s. Cat’s expression had softened, her lips were as soft and inviting as ever, and as soon as Kara realized all of that, she was a lost cause. She kissed Cat with sweetness and forgiveness, and a promise of comfort and more.

“Oh.” Cat still had her eyes closed when the tender kiss ended. “That was everything I hoped. But Kara, I don’t know if I can just come back, if I can find a life that makes room for all this.”

“You can. We will. However it has to be, I think we can make it work, Cat. But it’s better to try and fail than never take a chance in the first place.”

“Someone very wise must have taught you that.”

“You did.”

“Like I said.” Cat cupped Kara’s cheek with her hand, running her thumb over the cheekbone with exquisite care. “I’m tired of fighting this, Kara. I ran halfway around the world to escape my feelings for you, and they haven’t gone anywhere. Maybe all I cost us was time.”

“We still have lots of that,” Kara answered. “More than enough, I promise.”

“Will you come back with me? To the house? I can’t bear being alone in there.”

“Of course,” Kara said. “Now?”

“Not yet,” Cat replied, leaning back into Kara’s side. “Let’s stay on top of the world a little longer.”

Kara held her close, content to do exactly that.

[aliceslantern]

Serendipity, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 1

ser·en·dip·i·ty | n -- the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery.

It's all fun and games until someone gets pregnant.

Modern AU, Zemyx, Ienzo is afab trans

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Ienzo hated parties.

No; "hate" was a strong word. As an eternal introvert, parties took a lot from him, and required several days' of mental preparation. But it was not always avoidable.

And anyway, he did want to go to this party. It wasn't often a childhood friend got their own gallery show, after all. There would be art and wine and probably intellectual conversation--something as designed for Ienzo as possible other than the social interaction. He sighed. All Naminé had said about the dress code was to "wear black" and the only thing he had since his unfortunate rebellious goth phase was a slightly-too-tight turtleneck that made him acutely aware of the fact that he was not in shape.

There was no point caring about his appearance. Who did he have to impress? If he cared, he'd actually do something about the hair growing directly into his eyes.

Ienzo was early. The city streets were narrow, and he needed a parking space. He walked slowly to the door of the gallery, trying to gather himself and smile. Naminé was already inside, of course, talking to one of the curators and adjusting the tilt of the frame just slightly. A few people were milling about, picking at the crudités that had been left out. He should've been later. Easier to blend in.

Well. No point backing out now. Once she turned away from the curator, she spotted him and smiled. "You made it," she said. "I thought someone was going to have to drag you." She leaned in for a hug.

"Congratulations," he said earnestly. "I do hope everything is for sale? I'd love to support you."

She waved a hand vaguely. "I'm just so in shock, to be honest. First time I haven't had to pay to be featured anywhere, never mind possibly making a profit. It does look so odd, right? To think most of this lived behind my couch until yesterday afternoon."

"Well, it's very much deserved," he said honestly. "It's about time someone noticed your talent."

She blushed. "Do you want any wine? Any snacks? It's all offered by them, so don't be shy."

He sighed. "That would be prudent, wouldn't it?"

By the time she'd walked him over, a handful of other people had entered the gallery, all of them wanting to congratulate the artist. Alone in her flowy white dress, she looked very much like a spec in the darkness. Pretty, free, glowing from the attention.

Ienzo spent a half hour or so wandering the gallery, with its exposed brick walls. It was nice, to have the excuse not to talk. She'd done a series based on portraiture and memory, something he forgot entirely until he was looking at a (thankfully small) charcoal sketch of his own face. Naminé had a bad habit of drawing anything not nailed down, and asking permission later.

"Hey, that's you!" a man said. Ienzo looked up.

He was blonde, his undercut gelled on the top. His black shirt was wrinkled and French-tucked. Ienzo knew this person was familiar, but wasn't sure how. Small town?

"Well--yes," he said. "I forgot I consented to sharing this."

The man reached up almost to touch the sketch. "She's talented, isn't she," he said, positively glowing with pride. "Oh! I'm not a creep, I'm her brother." A wry laugh. "Demyx. Hi." He offered his hand.

"...Ienzo. Pleasure." His hands were rough, callused.

"Oh, I know," he said breezily. Then, at Ienzo's blank look, "you're her friend. She talks about you."

"I'm sorry--all the years I've known her and she's never shown me a photo of you."

He laughed. "Our family is… weird," he said slowly. "It doesn't surprise me."

"...I see," Ienzo said. He wondered if it would be rude to go get more wine. "I suppose… every family has its quirks."

He nodded once. There was something in his teal eyes that contradicted the friendliness of his expression, something sharp and aware. Something that--to his chagrin--Ienzo found fascinating. But why?

"Are there any of you?" he asked lamely.

Demyx laughed again, that awkward, staccato sound. "Yes," he said. "It's--ah, over here." He rested a hand on Ienzo's shoulder and pointed him to another painting. Ienzo wouldn't have known it was a portrait unless he was told; blue green swirls and a flash of blonde showed an abstracted version of a person. "I almost drowned when she was little," he admitted. "I think she took it to heart."

"...I see." Ienzo looked over through his bangs at this man. He saw, very quickly when Demyx thought he wasn't looking, the man give him a once-over.

Ah.

He couldn't deny that he also found him attractive, despite the man being most definitely not his type (with that hair?). It was the look in his eye. The something more. "So what do you do?" Ienzo asked.

"Well, I'm also kind of an artist," he said. "A musician."

Figured. "...I see," he said politely. Well. No matter dwelling on a passing attraction.

"But for my day job I teach," he added, wrinkling his nose. "Music. At the college."

Ienzo's eyebrows shot up. (His heart fluttered.) "You're a professor ?"

Demyx snorted. "I don't look it, right? But I can prove it." He took out a beat-up wallet and brandished a faculty ID. "Read it and weep."

"You just look so--young," Ienzo said lamely.

Demyx shrugged. "It was sort of a happy accident," he admitted. "I was finishing my master's and the guy they hired to teach theory I and guitar crapped out. They offered me the job for a semester, and, well, I guess they liked me enough to stop looking." He grinned. "I tend to thrive under the radar. Want more wine?"

Ienzo's heart was racing. "Yes. Please."

---

They ended up talking for hours. Long enough for the gallery to close, for Naminé to waggle her eyebrows at him when she saw them sitting together. Long enough for Demyx to ask him to get another drink. Ienzo wasn't sure if it were his tipsiness, but this conversation didn't exhaust him the way previous dates so often did. It wasn't until the bartender was asking for last call did he realize how late it was--that, and he was in no shape to drive home. "Oh, goodness," he said. "I'm afraid I got carried away."

"Like how?"

"Like--I came out expecting to spend two very proper hours admiring my friend's art. Here we are."

Demyx smiled. "I don't know why she was hiding you," he said. "I've had… a lot of fun."

"Me too," he said earnestly.

"Would you want to go on an actual date sometime?"

He smiled. He was tired enough not to psych himself out. "Absolutely." He sighed. "Though I'm afraid I'm in no condition to take myself home."

"You could crash at mine," Demyx suggested. Then, seeing Ienzo's expression, "on the couch! Not what I meant at all." He chuckled. "Or I can call you an Uber."

"Is it far?"

"A couple of blocks. Think you can make it?"

"I'm not that drunk--just shouldn't drive."

He followed him out of the bar. It was very late, the moon hanging high in the sky, making everything quiet and silver. Demyx slid his hand into Ienzo's. He felt a little thrill, trying to recall the last time he'd enjoyed being touched so. His own attempts at dating hadn't exactly been fortuitous. Rarely did he ever meet anyone on an app that inspired real chemistry.

"I love this time of night," Ienzo said.

"Me too," Demyx said. "Nobody has expectations--the world is asleep. So calm. I come up with my best stuff at night. It's like I can breathe."

He bobbed his head. "I do sometimes have trouble with that. The annoying grind of mundanity. Easy to lose yourself."

"Yeah." He smiled sadly. "Well, here we are. Second floor."

It was a relatively new apartment building. The stairwell smelled like Pledge and dust. When Demyx unlocked the door, a small gray cat meowed indignantly.

“That’s just Janice,” Demyx said. “Come on. Be nice,” he added to the cat.

It sniffed Ienzo’s hand and nuzzled him. Blearily, Ienzo took in the apartment. It definitely seemed to belong to a bachelor--the furniture was plain and shabby, and the “couch” was a futon. The coffee table was a pair of milk crates with a board over it. There were some band posters on the wall. Thankfully the place seemed clean. It actually had good bones; the appliances seemed relatively new, the cabinets real wood.

“I’ll get you some blankets,” Demyx said. “Bathroom’s through there if you need. I might have a new toothbrush somewhere--”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ienzo said. “I’d hate to trouble you. Really.”

He blinked wearily. “Alright. Hang tight.” He came back with two blankets and a pillow. “Wifi password’s on the router.”

“Thanks again.”

He smiled. “Of course. Hope you sleep well.”

Ienzo was too exhausted to do much more than curl up on the lumpy futon. His tipsiness was good to him, and he drifted off.

---

Ienzo woke up to gold sunlight coming in through the blinds. There was something warm by his feet; he sat up slowly and saw the cat curled at the foot of the futon.

So. This had all happened.

Ienzo rolled onto his back and watched the light play on the ceiling. It had been a long while since he’d had so much fun on a date. It felt almost… odd. He’d told himself he was too busy to date, too set in what he wanted. But honestly? If he had seen Demyx on one of his apps, he probably wouldn’t have given him a second glance.

He heard movement from the other room. The other man was still in pajamas, his hair mussed and loose around his face. “You sleep okay?”

“Like a rock--then again, I always do when I’m drunk.” He sighed. “Thanks again.”

He smiled. “Don’t mention it. Better than you trying to get yourself home. Though I have to admit, it’s rare Janice cuddles up to a guest.” He leaned over to pet the cat, giving Ienzo a peek of his (surprisingly toned?) chest under the collar of his T-shirt. “Coffee? Tea?”

“I’d hate to be any trouble--”

Demyx rolled his eyes. “Which is it?”

“Whichever you’re having, I guess.”

He was handed a mug of black coffee. “I never asked what you do,” Demyx said. “We talked about so much stuff other than our actual lives.”

“I’m a librarian,” he said. “I work mostly in the research department.”

“Do you like it?” He sat on the other end of the futon.

“I love books, and I love research,” he said honestly. “It’s the best of both of those things. Sure, sometimes I have to help certain… characters with questionable projects, but it’s worth it to have so many resources.”

He cocked his head. “What do you research?”

“What don’t I research?” Ienzo asked, with a sigh. “Whatever strikes my fancy at the moment, I suppose, but I have a soft spot for linguistics and psychology. And gothic literature, but as my father is fond of telling me, that won’t pay the bills.” He rolled his eyes. “The joys of capitalism.”

Demyx laughed. “Sounds like he’s fun at parties.”

Ienzo smiled. “Oh, incredibly,” he said sarcastically. “But he… means well. Very doting.”

“Are you two close?”

“Closer than we were when I was a child,” Ienzo admitted. “His husband came ready-made with a child, and that transition wasn’t necessarily easy.” He wasn’t sure why he was saying all this. “You are… astoundingly easy to talk to.”

“Thanks, I’ll be here all week.” He looked into his mug, the glint in his eyes becoming sad. “I don’t remember my parents much,” he said.

“Naminé never brings them up.”

“They were… not so into childrearing,” he added, with a shrug. “Especially when I got older… there’d be food in the fridge, checks in the mail, but for the most part they sort of did their own thing. They call, once every few months, to see if we’re still alive, but that’s about it."

“So you were kind of on your own,” Ienzo said.

“Eh, I try not to get too hung up on it,” Demyx said. “No point, right?”

“I suppose not.” The coffee was strong, warming the pale shadow of his mild hangover.

He drummed his fingers on the edge of the mug. “So about that date,” Demyx said. “The library’s closed on weekends, right? How about today?”

Ienzo felt his face warm. Normally he’d need more warning, more time to mentally prepare himself, and to groom. But something about Demyx’s nature made that not matter. “Sure. Why not?”

They spent most of a day wandering around town, grabbing meals when appropriate, talking. Walking around the park, talking. Ienzo didn’t know how many words he’d been holding inside until they were coming out. It felt so good to hold Demyx’s hand, or to feel it on the small of his back. Something about it was so familiar. So… comfortable.

He didn’t believe in love at first sight. And it wasn’t love, not yet; but rather an intoxicating slurry of attraction and interest. Something that could… become. Perhaps this was why when Demyx asked him if he’d like to come up for “a cup of coffee” at the end of the day, he said yes.

And to be fair, there was coffee; they just didn’t drink much of it.

Ienzo found himself making out with him on that horrible lumpy futon. He wasn’t averse to casual sex, had done it multiple times, but typically when actually dating he didn’t immediately hop into bed with that person right out of the gate. With Demyx, he was absolutely breaking all of his own rules--seeing a creative, not making an extra effort with his appearance, not taking the time to fully process things before moving forward. But oddly, the rush of this made that all not matter.

Ienzo was sitting in his lap. He wasn’t sure if this made it better or worse, but Demyx was a very good kisser, especially compared to his last failed date. Ienzo’s mind stubbornly did not wander as it was normally wont to in these situations. Demyx’s hair was deceptively soft as he tangled his hands in it. Too soon, Demyx broke away. “This isn’t too fast for you, is it?” he asked breathlessly.

“No. Not at all.”

“Good. I just… I don’t know, I don’t usually do this.”

“What, instead of taking your time seducing me?”

He giggled. “Well, kind of.”

“I don’t usually either,” Ienzo admitted, kissing his jaw, his throat. Demyx was pressing up against him, the strangeness of hardness against denim. Despite himself, he felt his heart skip, this time with an anxiety. They’d talked about so many things, but not so much about one of the most important. He took a breath; and broke another one of his rules. “I… have to tell you something.” He swallowed.

“What?” Demyx touched his face. “Are you a virgin or something?”

“No, but it… might change things?”

“You’re shaking,” Demyx said. “What is it?”

He hated that he constantly had to explain himself. “I’m… trans. Transgender?” He shut his eyes. “I wouldn’t blame you if you want to cut things where they are.”

His expression was hard to read. “Oh.”

“I should’ve said something sooner.”

His hand was so warm through Ienzo’s shirt. “No. Thanks for telling me. It doesn’t change anything. I mean. It changes things, but it doesn’t change things. You know?”

He wasn’t sure whether or not to be relieved. “Oh?”

Demyx blushed and bit his lip. “I’ve never been with… a person with those parts. I’d… kind of thought, when I didn’t feel anything between your legs… I just thought I was doing a bad job.” He laughed awkwardly.

“That’s not it at all. I have a… packer I wear, but sometimes I can’t be fussed, honestly.” He could feel his face burning. “But it isn’t… difficult, if you’d be comfortable with that.”

His hand was shaking a little; Ienzo could feel it. “I’d be willing to try.”

“I could… show you, if you like,” he said slowly, unable to make eye contact. “Some other time… or now, whichever.”

Demyx kissed him, and for a moment they were lost in each other before he broke away. “I could try now.”

His heart skipped again. “Okay.”

“Come on.”

Demyx led him deeper into the apartment. Ienzo could barely take in the details, a combination of nerves and excitement making him feel vaguely dizzy. He thought he could smell incense, clean laundry, instruments on stands, a record player. Most of his focus was on the queen-sized bed. When was the last time he felt such genuine lust during a hookup, instead of mere curiosity? It was almost unfamiliar, making him shake and quieting the ever-present noise inside of his head. Demyx kissed him again, deeply, his tongue flicking against Ienzo’s before reaching for the hem of his turtleneck. He took him in with something like reverence before leaning down to kiss his collarbone, sending a fizz through his body. Ienzo reached up to take off Demyx’s own shirt, only able to look at him for a moment before he was eased onto the bed.

His thoughts were muddy, murky, and yet he was so inside of his own body. He struggled to unbutton Demyx’s jeans and felt him working at Ienzo’s, slipping them off. The nerves returned, making him acutely aware of the dampness between his legs, the insistent throb of his clit. He wondered if he might combust, and if that would be so awful.

Demyx broke away from the kiss. “Can I see it?” he asked.

“Yes--just--”

Demyx helped him out of his underwear. He was infinitely glad he was meticulous with his own personal grooming. He had not honestly thought this day would end with him getting laid. It felt a little awkward, to part his legs. Demyx ran his hand along the inside of Ienzo’s thigh, making him shudder. “Oh,” he said softly.

“I don’t believe this is the first one you’ve seen,” he said, attempting a drollness and a coolness he did not feel. “Not at all.”

“True, but… not in real life,” Demyx admitted. “But you’re so… god, you’re beautiful.”

He snorted. “Hardly.”

“Really.” He leaned down to kiss him. Ienzo tried to take off Demyx’s own underwear, his dick already straining against them.

The skin of it was warm against his palm. At least Ienzo knew he was competent at this. Demyx moaned against his shoulder.

“Before you… really go at it,” he said, with difficulty. “First tell me how to--”

A blush made him hotter. “Right. Ah--” He’d never had to explain this to any of his partners. “There’s a… little nub, the--”

“The clit?”

Thank god he knew that much. “Yes, just… that’s the most important bit.”

“Can I… can I touch you?” His expression was so tender. There was no way this was all real, Ienzo thought. There had to be a catch.

“Yes.”

He felt Demyx’s callused hand slide down his body, bringing with it a rush. After a moment where he seemed to struggle to find the nerve, he eased his hand over it, almost making Ienzo spasm. Demyx felt at it for a moment before he found the clit. “This?”

He swallowed. “That’s it. The… testosterone makes it… like that.”

“As long as I can make you feel good.” He kissed him again and began to stroke it, rolling it between his fingers. The feel of the calluses made Ienzo gasp aloud. “Is that bad?”

“No, no, it’s…” He could barely speak. “It’s very good.” With a trembling hand he fumbled to find Demyx’s dick, trying to move in rhythm with him. Hearing him struggle for breath only turned Ienzo on more. He could already feel the sensation building along his body, hot and electric. “If you want, you could… you could go inside me.”

Demyx looked up at him. “Are you sure?”

“Just--do you have a condom?”

His breath hitched. “Sure. Of course.” He dug in a bedside drawer that Ienzo honestly hadn’t noticed. He could feel his knees shaking. “Do you need lube?”

How had Demyx not felt how wet he was? “No.” Ienzo took the packet from him and eased it over his dick.

He laughed. “You might have to help me.” He guided the tip of it into him with one hand and gasped, his eyes closing. “It’s different.”

“In a bad way?”

“No.” He pressed into him a little more. “God, no. That doesn’t hurt you?”

“Doesn’t require as much preparation,” Ienzo explained. He opened his legs a little more, letting them rest against Demyx’s hips, for a moment just taking in the feel of his dick. It was more substantial than the hands or toys he’d taken over the past few months.

Demyx moaned. “You feel so good.”

“I could… say the same. Just kind of… slow and deep.”

He started to move against Ienzo. His skin was tingling, the warmth and weight of Demyx’s body combined with the thrusting bringing him again closer to that edge. The grind of Demyx’s hips brushed against Ienzo’s clit, forcing a small noise from him. He felt as though he were losing control--another rule broken--but found, in the moment, he didn’t care. Ienzo tangled his hands in that blonde hair and kissed him, finding a rhythm with him, smooth and gentle, a steadily growing heat blocking out anything else.

“Maybe a little faster?” he asked in a voice that wasn’t quite his.

Demyx made another noise and obliged him, moving harder. Ienzo could feel every bit of it, his body getting so sensitive the more excited he got. “Fuck,” Demyx said to his shoulder. He pressed his lips against his shoulder, his chest. “I--”

He let himself get lost in his body, his trembling thighs, the little waves of feeling starting to break over him in earnest, building smoothly towards that finish. “I’m really--”

Demyx’s hand reached down into the tangle of their bodies to find his clit again, and it was this more than anything that forced him over the edge.

It overtook him so fully and completely that for a moment he wasn’t sure where he was, a hot and demanding pleasure holding everything out at arm’s length. He couldn’t stop shaking. He could feel, on some level, Demyx thrust into him once or twice more before he seemed to finish too, his dick twitching a little inside of him.

Ienzo came back slowly, seeing the ceiling first, his hands trembling, his skin borderline raw. Demyx eased out of him, making him shudder, and threw away the condom. “Are you okay?” Ienzo heard.

“Yes,” he said. “I’m still--coming down.”

“...Me too.” Demyx settled next to him on the bed, breathing hard. “Do you cuddle?”

Another rule that would be broken. At this point why bother keeping track? “Yes.” If anything, the arms around his waist helped. “I’m not sure I believe that was your first time.”

He laughed. “What, because I paid attention to you for five seconds? What idiots have you been sleeping with?”

“...Idiots, indeed.” He found himself relaxing in this strange bed. He’d almost forgotten that sex with another person could be satisfying instead of mere physical upkeep. “I do believe that’s the best I’ve had for some time.”

Demyx brushed his cheek. “Fuck, me too. I just… where did you come from, Ienzo?”

“Here. Planet Earth.” He smiled. “Though I… haven’t experienced something so instant in a long while. Maybe ever.”

“Me either.” He kissed him, and for a moment Ienzo used that to ground himself. “I know it’s been… like, a day and a half. But I really like you.”

The smile was involuntary. “Maybe it’s against my better judgement… but I like you too.”

[darkdevasofdestruction]

HCs for Dabi, Tamaki, Chisaki and Tomura meeting their fem!S/O’s ex-boyfriend.

“Now, I personally had horrible experiences with my ex-boyfriends, one of them being really really bad, and I guess I just wanted to write this in a way to help myself and anyone who might have gone through the same kind of trauma. After all, these guys (or at least 3 of them) would be the best at getting revenge, while the other would be amazing at reassuring you.

Take care, everyone <3

Dabi

This guy rarely shows his real emotions, preferring to act all goody and aloof, teasing you and making roasting jokes about everyone around him, be it that his S/O knows them or not.

Probably, she will know them since he’d most likely (definitely) complain about how stupid or annoying everyone is, making it his personal goal to make fun of anyone.

Now, he’s clearly one to stand out of the crowd, even if there are other people with much more flashier passive Quirks out there, so he prefers to go out with you during the evening or night, when everything is calm, nobody suspects anything and he can just enjoy his time with his girlfriend.

So there it is, a nice, warm Spring evening, the sky is gorgeous, the Sun is setting, the sakura trees blooming, Dabi holding his S/O’s hand, dangling it back and forth while gossiping together-

Until she stopped dead in her tracks, making Dabi stumble a bit and look back at her, her expression out of the ordinary as she tries to pull him away from there, laughing awkwardly and trying to make up petty excuses to go on a different route.

He just blinked in confusion and raised his eyebrow, just following her and looking back, trying to identify the cause of her distress, until he notices a random guy walking down the road in their direction.

“Do you know that guy, S/O? Or why are you acting like this?” “It’s uh...I...Well...” “Ah! You mentioned this guy once, is that him?” “Uh...Y-Yeah...Let’s just pretend he doesn’t exist before he notice-” “Oh, hey, look at that, it’s S/O! How are you~?” “Kill me now...”

She sighed aggravated and turned to face the smirking man who wore a condescending face, looking down at her.

The situation was relatively amusing and annoying for Dabi, both wanting to see how his S/O is going to react, but ready to step in if needed.

“Look, S/O, I know me breaking up with you was a huge blow to y-” “I broke up with you.” “But to downgrade so much...Going out with someone so ugly...I mean, you’ve never been a princess or anything b-” “I’m not sure on what fantasy land you’re living, but need I remind you how many times you told me I was the most beautiful person alive?” “I was lying, of course. How else would I have been able to get around such a prude like you?” “Clearly, forcing yourself on me was the best course of action, wasn’t it?” “Oh shut up, you liked it.” “Yes, especially when I was telling you to stop it. Oh, or when I was trying to push you off me.” “I’m willing to give you another chance.” “Oh, you’re allowing me to beat you to death? Because honestly, that’s the only thing I’d ever want from you.” “Wha-” “You have the audacity to march up to me after everything you’ve put me through and even worse, you think it’s okay to insult my boyfriend who, by the way, is the best person in the world and unlike you, I don’t like.” “You? You don’t lie?! You lied to me during our whole relationship!” “Ah, yes, you’re right. I never loved you.” “Urgh, whatever, I’m leaving. Tsk...What a greedy slut.”

But before he could leave, a low chuckle could be heard around the park as Dabi put his hand on the ex’s shoulder, forcing him to turn away and look into his glaring eyes.

“Now, now, where do you think you’re going? You insult me? As if that never happened before. But it’s a special kind of low to trash-talk such a nice girl like S/O. You think I’d just let you go away after what you pulled? Oh, no, no way in hell. Ah, speaking of hell...I’ve seen it. It’s blue.” “What the hell are you talking about, you freak?!”

And with that, Dabi started slowly burning the ex alive, enjoying every cry and scream of pure agony that would leave his mouth, all while grinning like a Cheshire cat, clearly satisfied with his work.

After the ex was left as nothing more than a pile of ash on the ground, he nonchalantly turned to his S/O who just stayed back, completely stoic, enjoying the blue flame show and he picked her up bridal style, earning a surprised yelp from her, kissing her forehead.

“D-Dabi, put me down, I’m heavy!” “Nah, princess, you’re not.” “P-Princess...?” “Maybe that idiot was too blind to see what’s in front of him, but I’m not. A gorgeous gal like you cannot be anything other than a princess. Hmm...Or maybe a fairy? An angel? Will you come in my dreams every night from now on?”

Despite the furious blush spread all over her face, she could only smile at him with love and put her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and snuggling to him like a kitten.

This only made Dabi let out an amused breathe and find some teasing jokes to tell her.

(( LOOK AT THIS CUTIEPIE OMG MUST PROTECC))

Tamaki Amajiki

This baby is usually so shy that he’s too embarrassed to touch her or even stay much around her, even if they’ve been together for quite a while, so I think a nice little chill date in a small, not so popular, vintage tea place would be ideal.

Soothing aromas in the air, low, calming music, scented candles, dim-lights, amazing hot beverages, books, intimacy and of course, his sweet S/O that he loves with all his heart but is too embarrassed to look at.

Everything was going really well, his S/O managed to make him smile with her jokes and stories and it was obvious that his eyes were gleaming with happiness, despite not looking anywhere around her, but she knew she was doing a good job, so she slowly slid her hand across the table, gently laying it on top of his.

Sure enough, since he’s rather touch-sensitive  (I believe), he’d almost freak out, but closing his eyes, he’d sigh to relax himself, and then hold her hand tightly, showing her that he’s really trying to get out of his shell and be the boyfriend that she deserves.

Now, the problem is that she suddenly stopped mid-sentence and started biting her lip, trying to put her hood up so she won’t be noticed, but alas, she was, and by none other than her ex-boyfriend, the one that she only mentioned once, wishing not to remember the terrible memories she had with him.

“Oh, what we have here! It’s S/O on a little date with some weird looking elf boy!” “Go away, you jackass!” “Is that any way to speak to your boyfriend?” “You’re not my boyfriend.” “You see, that’s exactly why I was looking for you. To change that.” “Uh...No. I already am in a relationship and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.” “With this...Weirdo?” “You’re just jealous because he’s a strong hero with an amazing Quirk and you’re just a pathetic whiny crybaby you can’t do anything right by himself.” “I wouldn’t go there if I were you. You’re crossing a very dangerous line right there, S/O.” “Go away, can’t you see you’re unwanted here and anywhere else? Nobody likes you.” “Oh, you-”

But before the jerk could act against her, Tamaki transformed his hand into an octopus tentacle, starting to strangle him, getting the courage to look up and glare at him.

“I don’t think insulting my girlfriend was very wise of you, considering your worth level is below sea level. Now, I am a hero so I cannot physically harm you, due to my morality-code, but don’t think I will hesitate it if you are to continue harassing us.”

As Tamaki let the jerk run away, his S/O hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek and grinning up at him, making him widen his eyes and blush furiously, trying to hide under the table, not being used to that amount of affection from his beloved.

“Thank you for protecting me, Tamaki-kun! You’re my hero!” “Ah...I...Well...I have to protect my...Girlfriend...S-So...” “I love you, my brave, amazingly awesome hero! You’re the best!” “S-S/O...Please, my face is burning...” “You’re so cute!!”

Needless to say, his girlfriend couldn’t stop fawning over how adorable he was, especially after standing up for her, and to be fair, he couldn’t stop smiling and blushing either, actually enjoying his S/O’s warm and loving hugs.

Maybe he’d make himself gather more courage in the future, just so he could give his girlfriend the same amount of affection that he receives daily from her.

Chisaki Kai

This guy is obsessed with germs and all that so he wouldn’t be all that physical with his S/O, especially at the beginning. Then, especially since he’s wearing gloves and a mask, he’d indulge in holding hands or the occasional hug, if nobody is around to see.

He is, after all, a villain leader and having a relationship with someone who looks so sweet and kind might endanger him in 2 major ways: 1) His reputation might tarnish, others saying he’s going soft and that he’s an incapable leader driven by pointless emotions or 2) His S/O might get kidnapped for ransom and it would make him torn and put on spot to make a radical decision that would be painful no matter which way it goes.

This, of course, doesn’t mean that he’d keep his girlfriend trapped in the house or only to stay next to him at all costs.

He deeply respects and loves his girlfriend and accepts that they are both their own persons and have their own lives to go on with, so he’s not exactly possessive or obsessive.

He loves going out at night with his girlfriend since it’s the safest way to go out and not be recognised, since that mask of his attracts attention.

So, there they were in a nice busy pub in a corner table, enjoying their drinks and chatting casually about their life, what’s new, interesting, how’s the gangster life and all the nice, calming trivialities they could think of.

Everything was fine and dandy, he was able to put away his stress and was enjoying his girlfriend’s company, girlfriend who seemed to always take sneaky pictures of him (which he knew about but let her do her thing since it was harmless anyways) and was grinning and texting here and there while keeping the conversation flowing smoothly and also finding out new on-going rumours and gossips which always somehow seem to help him with his plans-

Until someone slammed their hand on their table, making her drop her phone on the table and glare at the person who dared interrupt her date with her lover, when she visibly paled and sweatdropped, making Chisaki look at her and the new person, analysing the situation, but not interfering yet.

“What in the name of all Seven Hells are you doing here?” “I saw you walking with that creep in this sketchy pub and I thought I’d-” “You’d what? Stalk me on my date?!” “Stalk you? Oh, goodness, no, I was looking out for you.” “Why would you-” “That guy is a gangster, you idiot! He’s gonna kill you!” “Er-Ergh...I already knew that, if that wasn’t obvious enough. Now, can you le-” “Then what, you’re using him? Is he your sugar daddy?!” “I beg your pardon, what did you just say?!” “Tsk, I should have known. All I did for you, all that time, was out of the goodness of my own heart. But no, you cheated on me, you materialistic bitch!” “Just because you’ve always been a paranoic idiot with unresolved self-issues doesn’t mean everyone around is the way you imagine it to be.” “You never loved me! You were always after my money! Urgh, I should have know you never loved me! You never let me touch you or show my love to you!” “Yeah, of course I wouldn’t let you force yourself on me when I didn’t want to! There’s more to a relationship then physical stuff and I always told you that. Why do you think I dumped you, you pea-brain?!”

But before he could say anything back, Chisaki sighed, clearly annoyed at the conversation and stepped in, using his Quirk to kill that bastard.

“How could you ever go out with such a nuisance?” “Mistakes were made, Chisaki. I can’t change the past.” “So...Wanna be my sugar baby, then?” “Chi-Chisaki, what the hell?!” “Just kidding. That guy had huge issues and he had to die. Besides, nobody talks to my girlfriend like that and gets away with it.” “Where were you all that time ago? I feel like I wasted a lot of time with stupid people until I met you.” “You have to be patient in your search for quality people. Fortunately, my searching-time came to an end once I met you. “Aww, so you can be a real charmer when you want, can’t you~?” “Only for you, that is. But don’t mention it, or you’ll end like him.” “It will be our little secret, then”

And with that, the pair ordered another round of drinks and continued their conversation as if nothing happened, Chisaki very proud of himself and his girlfriend beaming of happiness at what just happened.

Tomura Shigaraki

Honestly, nobody ever knows what this guy is thinking so I guess it goes without saying that if anyone dares insult and talk weirdly about his S/O, he will make sure to get the Warp Gate guy to kidnap the jerk so he could slowly and painfully use his Quirk on them until they cry and beg for mercy and forgiveness.

Of course, they’d see none from Tomura.

Both him and his S/O are video games fans so I think they’d enjoy dates where they don’t have to do any effort and just play on their PSPs, either a Co-Op game or separate games, doing their little victory screams and poses or cursing the hell out of their games and looking more focused than ever before.

These dates are a way to really strengthen their bond, Tomura leaning against a tree and his girlfriend between his legs, leaning on his chest, both playing their games.

If it’s a colder weather, Shigaraki would wear a very big hoodie so he could try to zip it around his S/O’s form, both to make sure she’s warm, but it’s a way to feel her close as protected, no matter what might happen.

Thankfully, those hands are never around when they are together.

On a nice day, they go out to their usual spot, her draping his arm around his torso, gripping his hoodie as a support and his having his arm around her shoulder, keeping her close and walking in a comfortable silence, enjoying the nature’s sounds and the peace around

As they strolled on their merry way, the girl feels a hand grip her shoulder and turn her to look at the culprit, who was none other than her ex-boyfriend.

“Uh...Wh-What are you d-doing here?” “You...! S/O, you little slut, I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for you! Do you have any idea how much effort it was to find you?!” “H-How...?” “What, you think I’m too stupid to find you?! You stink of idiocy from miles away. But it’s okay now, you dumb-dumb, you have me to take care of you. There’s no need to hide with that hideous skeleton kid over there.” “I...I think I’ll refuse. He’s my boyfriend and I love him and I really don’t want to be anywhere around you or see...Or hear about you ever again.” “Hahaha...You...You really think I was asking you? No, dear, it was an order. Now, come over and obey me like the little submissive bitch that you are.” “J-Just leave me alone!”

Seeing his girlfriend, the only person in the world who he holds precious to his heart and wouldn’t think of hurting no matter what, with tears brimming in her eyes, trying to make a douchebag stop gripping on her wrists and dragging her away made him snap with anger.

Tomura went to the guy and took a hold of his arm, making sure he decays a good portion of it, grinning already as he starts screaming in agony, looking at him as if he was some kind of monster.

The jerk tried to run away, but Tomura made sure the Warp Gate guy made him fall into the dimension gate, tying him up for a good torture back at the base, as he went in front of his S/O, kissing her forehead and pulling her close to him, hugging her tightly to his chest.

“I should have killed him when you told me about him.” “It’s...It’s okay. At least he’ll get what was coming for him.” “He deserves what he’s going to get. I will make him regret everything he’s done to you, my precious princess.” “Thank you, Tomura...Thank you.” “It’s Game Over for him. Forever.” “I love you, Tomura.”

Now, he wasn’t one to say those words too often. In fact, he hardly ever does. Instead, he’s usually one to show his affection through those little, subtle but important things like “Did you eat?” or “Are you feeling okay? Do you need me there?”  and so on.

Today, he lifted her hoodie sleeves up and kissed her wrists in a way to ‘purify’ the place where bruises might form because of that idiot’s actions.

To both his and her surprise, he muttered a low “I love you” while kissing her, making her eyes widen in surprise and happiness, and him to put his hood on, evading any kind of eye contact.

[buchanannn]

Seconds: Part Two (Bucky Barnes X Reader)

Part 1

Summary: you and Bucky hang out, not much else

Word Count: 2563

Warnings: some swearing I think, fluff, no smut ://

A/N: this is part 2 and it ain’t that good, no smut kinda just story stuff, hopefully things get better soon

You woke up to the sound of cars driving below and people chatting in the streets. When you opened your eyes, you looked directly up to Bucky's sleeping face. The sun filtered through the curtains, drawing patterns on his cheeks. You looked in awe and then your heart almost leapt through your chest. What if he regretted it? What if, when he woke up, he'd realise that he'd made a mistake?  You looked away from him, trying to find the best way out without waking him up. But, with his arm wrapped around your waist, you figured there probably wasn't an easy way. You tried to push yourself out but Bucky's grip tightened as he sighed. His eyes began to flutter open and you panicked. Before you could even think about getting up, he smiled at you. "Morning." Your heart calmed a little as he rubbed his eyes. "Good morning." You replied, quietly. You propped yourself onto your elbow as he pushed some hair from his face. He turned his head to look at the clock on his side table, which read 9:24am. He ran his right hand over his face and yawned. You watched in awe as his muscles flexed as he moved.

"Take a picture," he smiled looking over to you. "It'll last longer." Despite your burning cheeks you just smirked. "Maybe I will." Bucky quirked am eyebrow, raising the left side of his mouth teasingly. "Oh it's that way now? You'll take pictures of my undressed body and sell them for some pretty pennies." "I doubt I'd be able to sell them." You giggled. "Probably couldn't even get a corn chip." "Puh-lease," Bucky swatted his hand. "There would be so many bids for a picture of my pillow let alone me."

"Arrogance is unattractive." You raised one eyebrow. Bucky laughed and shook his head. "No it's not."

"You're right." You buckled and let your head fall back to the pillow. You felt Bucky's warmth moving closer to you as he wedged himself closer to your pillow. When you turned your head, his eyes were closed but a smile still graced his face. You couldn't help but lean toward him and press a kiss to his smiling lips. When you moved back his eyes were open and his smile was wider. "What?" You laughed sheepishly. "Do that again." He said simply. So you did. You adjusted your body so you were half laying on top of him as his arm snaked around your waist. You cupped his cheek with one of your hands and rested your weight on the other forearm. His grip tightened until your bodies were pressed flush together. You were suddenly aware of your lack of clothes and the covers slipped down and Bucky's t-shirt began to ride upward. Bucky's hand filled the lack of t-shirt and cupped your ass as the kiss became more heated. You bit down in his lip, earning a small sound of approval. You weren't sure how far you were willing to go that morning but you'd never find out; a sharp knock causing you to spring back from him. He laughed at you as Steve's voice came through, muffled.

"Buck, you awake?"

Bucky, still laughing, called back an affirmative and you heard the door handle wriggle.

Time seemed to slow down, what if Steve saw you there, in bed with Bucky? Would he think you were easy? Would he think you were Bucky's girl and then stick to 'bro-code' and strike you out as a potential girlfriend. Thinking fast, you rolled of the bed, accidentally ripping off some blankets in the process and hide yourself on the opposite side of the bed, simply hoping Steve wouldn't advance further through the door. Bucky cursed as the door opened and the sheets fell to the floor. You instantly wanted to apologise but that couldn't give away your hiding spot.

"Me and Sharon were gonna go and get some coffee, want anything?" Steve said, leaning on the door frame.

"No thanks." You didn't miss the twinge of sadness in Bucky's voice and you felt the same in your chest. What you'd do to be the one beside Steve in the morning.

"Sure?" Steve asked again and Bucky nodded. "Okay, well, we'll be back in like half an hour."

"Sure." Bucky said simply.

"It's weird." Steve said before leaving. "I could've sworn I heard Y/N before."

"Yeah, she sent me a video if her cat." Bucky lied smoothly.

"Oh." Steve sounded unconvinced. "Okay, well, see you."

"Bye." Bucky waved. You waited until the door closed to pop up.

"Sorry." You said quickly. "I didn't mean to pull these off." You tossed the blankets back on the mattress.

He wiped his face quickly. "Jesus Christ."

You stood by the bed, watching him closely. "I better go."

He looked up, surprised. "Why?"

"Errands." You shrugged. You crossed an arm over your torso and held the opposite arm. "Saturdays are my running around days."

Bucky nodded, not meeting your eyes. "Yeah, sure." You bit your lip as you picked up your clothes from around the room. You sighed, walking to Bucky's side of the bed and sat on the edge. You leant your head on his shoulder. "I actually do have errands, Buck. I'm not just skipping out on you."

"I know." He said. He turned his head to look at you. "I have stuff to do, too. It's probably for the best." You smiled over at him, standing back up. "I'll see you on Monday."

"See you on Monday." He smiled back. You left his bedroom, struggling to pull your clothes on as you walked through the hallway. You held his t-shirt in your hand, not sure what to do with it. You threw it on the back of the couch and then you left.

It'd been 9 days since you and Bucky had left the party together and it seemed to have not changed your working dynamics. It only got awkward if it was mentioned and since no one else knew, the awkward moments could be kept in the lower numbers. Bucky had just come back from a small call in with Natasha and was just about to settle down into bed when he heard giggling coming from Steve's room. Great, he had to put up with that.

Bucky tried his hardest to ignore it but the walls of the apartment were so thin that he could hear the sounds of them kissing and he was out of there faster than you could say 'bad roommate'. He slammed the door on the way out, hoping they would hear it and feel at least a little bad that they were making so much noise. He checked the time on his phone, 11:23pm, before dialling your number. You answered with a laugh filled "hello?"

"Hey, it's Bucky." He said.

"I know, man. Caller ID." You teased.

He smiled to himself. "What are you doing?"

"Watching TV." You said. "There's a comedy festival on."

"Want some company?" Bucky's voice sounded less confident than usual and he hoped you wouldn't notice.

"I would love some, Buck." He could hear the grin in your voice.

"I'll be there soon." He said, ending the call and pushing his hands deeper into his pockets.

When he knocked on your door, he was greeted with a warm gust of air and the smell of your perfume.

"Hey!" You grinned, opening the door further for him. You were in your signature dorky pyjamas with an old t-shirt and a pair of flannelette pants that looked like they were straight out of the 70s. "Hi." He smiled, taking his coat off. "Well, the comedy show just finished but I think the Conjuring is on next just because I know how much you love horror movies." You grinned, ignoring the look he was giving you. "Yes," he said sarcastically. "I love them." Bucky watched you walk toward your kitchen area, glad no one was around to catch him checking you out.

"Drink? Food?" You called out, leaning on the refrigerator door. "Got any beer?" He called back, bending down to untie his shoes. "Is that a genuine question?" You laughed, pulling our two bottles from your seemingly never ending stash. He watched you pop the lids then set a bag of popcorn in the microwave. You handed him a beer as you walked back, flopping on the couch next to him. "So, what made you desperate enough to come hang with me?" You asked, as the two of you clinked bottles. "Sharon's spending the night." Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yikes." You made a face. "I spoke to her the other day. Apparently they're thinking about moving in together." Bucky felt like he'd just been punched in the chest. He lowered his beer bottle, his eyes falling on his hands. Steve had thought about replacing him? It had nothing to do with his feelings, either, just their friendship. He should've known, Steve was never gonna stay with him forever. "Buck, I'm sorry." You said softly, moving over to sit by his side. You set an arm over his shoulders. "I'm such an asshole."

Bucky shook his head. "No, no. I shouldn't be sad." "I'm sure she's just delusional anyway." You tried to console him. "And even if he did move out, you could move in here. Just think about it! Endless beer and pizza and shitty movies!"

Bucky smiled.

"Sorry, man." You lay your head on his shoulder and he rested his head on yours.

"It's okay," he turned to look at you. You smiled sweetly and then the microwave beeped, causing you to jump. Bucky laughs at you as you jumped up to fetch the popcorn.

On the way back you shut off all of the lights. The two of you snacked while watching the ads before the film. You even went as far to get a blanket to pull over the two of you as you leant on him. He kept his right arm tucked around your waist and you made sure the blanket covered his toes. It was how it'd always been.

When the movie started, you munched excitedly on popcorn while he groaned at the eerie tone of the film. You couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that the man with a kill list longer than a phone book and a metal limb was scared of a two hour long, scripted possession.

"Shut up." He nudged you as your laughter grew louder. "Or I'll make you watch an even scarier film."

"The Notebook?" You feigned fear.

"Joke all you want, doll," he smirked. "But I know your biggest fear is romantic-comedy."

"And Adam Sandler movies." You nodded, wide eyes.

"You're ridiculous." Bucky shook his head.

"Maybe." You agreed. "But at least I'm not scared of a bunch of actors."

He raised his eyebrows. "They're designed to scare you! If anything, you're the weirdo for enjoying them."

"Okay, sure." You nodded sarcastically.

He narrowed his eyes at you as you simply giggled at his irritated reaction. THe two of you had spoken through the first couple of scenes and it was already an ad break. The loud, jolly music actually made you jump as it switched so quickly from the eerie soundtrack if the film.

Bucky took this moment to laugh at you.

"Yeah, lap it up bud, it'll be the only scare I get." You stood up,tossing the blanket on him. "I'm going to pee." You walked through the apartment, picking your phone up before locking the bathroom door behind you. You glanced quickly into the mirror, your eyebrows needed taming and your face was barren of any makeup. You didn't know why you were stressed about that, though, you weren't typically a very appearance worried person. You shook it off and made to sit down to do your business but your phone started ringing before you could do so much as pull down your pants.

"Steve?" You greeted him.

"Hey, Y/N, have you seen Bucky?" He sounded worried.

"Yeah, he's here with me." You replied. "Why?"

"Oh!" Steve sounded surprised. "What are you two-? Never mind. Sorry. I just hadn't seen him yet today."

"Okay?" You narrowed you eyes. "Anything else?"

"That's all. Thanks Y/N." His voice sounded distracted. "You guys have fun."

"Hey, Steve," You started quickly before he could hang up. "I have a quick question."

"Shoot." He said.

"I know this is out of the blue but, uh, are you and Sharon gonna move in together?" You kept your voice hushed.

"Not anytime soon I don't think." He answered hesitantly.

"Oh, okay. Cool. Thanks. Well, have fun, bye." You hung up before he could ask any of the follow up 'why?' questions and then sat to actually piss.

You washed your hands, smoothing down your hair quickly and heading back out to the couch. You got to the living room and found Bucky absent from the couch. Maybe he got a phone call? Or was getting more beer? Or - "Boo!" Bucky jumped out from behind the corner around the hallway and immediately you balled your fist and threw it at him. Thankfully, he dodged out of the way before you could bruise his beautiful face, but he stared at you, wide eyed. "That was kinda hot." He laughed. You exhaled heavily, the edginess in your body still present. "You are a grade A asshole."

He laughed at his little practical joke, slinging an arm around you and leading you back to the couch. He kept his arm around you which you were thankful for in the cold night. Despite the heater in your apartment you never seemed to be warm. You debated whether or not you should tell Bucky about Steve's call but you decided not to. His night had already been disrupted by him and Sharon so why do it again? His arm rested around your waist and his hand on your ass, the blanket pulled up over the two of you. You'd seen the movie so many times that it was beginning to get boring upon this viewing and you could tell that Bucky wasn't enjoying himself either. You sighed, leaning forward and switching off the TV and walking over to switch on the light.

"Hey!" Bucky complained.

"It was boring. You hated it. Let's just go to bed." You sighed.

"I was having fun." He pouted.

"What? So you like horror movies now?" You raised your eyebrows with crossed arms.

"No I was having fun copping a feel." He laughed. You rolled your eyes.

"Come on. I'm tired."

"Alright, whatever." He pushed himself out of the couch and followed you to your bedroom. He shed his pants and his shirt, climbing under the covers as you made yourself comfy. He moved closer to you, wrapping an arm around your body and pulling you into his chest. "What are you doing?" You deadpanned. "Oh please, we've been closer than this." Bucky scoffed. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder as if to try and jog your memory. But you hadn't forgotten a single detail of that night. "Whatever." You mumbled, closing your eyes and nestling back into him. The room was silent, you listening to Bucky's even breathing and slightly snoring, as you lay awake.

[soft-fandom-requests]

May I please request the sextuplets with a crush who loves to hug soft things like pillows like if she’s on a couch she’ll subconsciously pick a pillow up and hug it and when they visit she is often hugging a plush bc she gets really cuddly and makes her happy even though it might be seen as immature dhifhfih is that too much info? Feel free to leave stuff out if that is too much i just never know how much info to give and have been kinda self conscious about liking plushies lately

A new neighbor came along a couple months ago and like clockwork, the sextuplets found out that the new neighbor was female. Desperate to get their dicks wet but too much of a bunch of pussys to actually talk to her they only watched her from afar. As usual, Jyushi was first to make contact, being more social of the group. The second was Choromatsu, seeing her in the store and her recognizing him. Third, Osomatsu, for he couldn’t keep himself from “accidentally” bumping into her on the way out. The fourth was karamatsu, his posing on the bridge was enough to get her attention, she asked him if he was getting his picture taken and he acted it off, now she thinks hes some famous Instagram model. The fifth was ichimatsu, she found him in an alleyway tending to a bunch of cats, she didn’t approach him until she passed it again way later in the day and he was still there.

This is where her terrible habit was unleashed when she met Todomatsu in a popular store for pastel clothing and soft squishies and toys. He was in the big squishy isle, her beeline to it was like instinct. She didn’t recognize him until he introduced himself as her neighbor. She was embarrassed, a girl like her shouldn’t be seen in such a childish place, though Todomatsu noticed and mentioned how he could understand because he’s a grown 20-year-old male in a girls store full of pink clothes, stuffed animals, and squishies. Her nerves died at this, also seeing how weird it was but didn’t question since she noticed that the brothers were all color-coded and his happened and looked to be pink. Her habit started when he handed her a big stuffed bear, her first reaction was to hold it to her chest, tightly feeling its softness against her arms and her body. She relaxed even more at the feeling. Todomatsu being the gentlemen he offers to buy this toy for her.

The next thing you know the brothers are inviting her over for dinner or often visiting at her home together. Her rooms are full of pillows and big stuffed animals as well as giant foam squishies. Their conversations tended to be mostly to the bear or giant cat she was holding and cuddling more than her because of how she engulfed herself in the objects. Because of this little quirk of hers, they often buy her gifts, big puppy dogs, they take advantage of valentines day when it comes around because giant plushies are popular around then. Some of them even send gifts right to her doorstep over Amazon. They never questioned it since all of them have their own little guilty pleasures and immature habits.

[chasholidays]

Yayyyyy Chash thanks so much for doing this! Minty prompt (because of course): Monty falls asleep on Miller on the couch or something, Miller DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

happy minty day friends if you don’t like minty come back in 24 hours

Nate is not really convinced about moving in with Monty Green.

On paper, it’s a great idea. Bellamy and Clarke are moving in together, leaving both Nate and Monty without roommates. They have a lot in common and get along, so the two of them were a natural fit. They’re not that close, but they see each other socially and like each other, and finding roommates is a pain. The whole thing checks out, and Nate gets why everyone else is on board.

Really, the only reason Nate isn’t on board is that he likes Monty. In a more than friendly way. And moving in with a guy for whom he has romantic feelings seems like a terrible idea. He can think of roughly ten thousand things that could go wrong, from walking in on Monty in a state of undress to Monty getting a significant other and Nate having to witness them rubbing their noses together and talking about how much they love each other.

The whole thing really is a minefield, but he can’t say that, and he has no other objections, which means that he is, apparently, moving in with Monty Green.

It’s going to suck.

Monty gets them off to a terrible start, too. He and Nate are meeting for coffee and to talk about moving in, and his opening gambit is, horrifically, “So, your place or mine?”

Nate was drinking, and he promptly chokes on it. “What?”

Monty looks stupidly pleased with himself, like he was trying to give Nate a heart attack. “Where are we moving? Your place or mine?”

“Oh, uh. I don’t know. Bellamy and Clarke are getting a whole new place, right?”

“Yeah, they’re downsizing since they don’t need two rooms. So I assume we’ll keep one place and leave the other. I made up a spreadsheet with information about our place,” he adds, turning his laptop so Nate can see it, and it’s honestly fucking unfair, that the guy is this hot and this cute at the same time. “I didn’t have your information, so we still need to fill that in, but I figure that’s the easiest way? Unless you have a strong preference.”

“No, not really. I’d rather not have to move,” he adds, in the interest of full disclosure. “But I figure you don’t want to either, so that’s not a deciding factor.”

“Yeah, if it comes to that we can flip a coin.” He straightens up. “So, do you know the square footage of your apartment off the top of your head, or do you need to look that up?”

“Who knows that off the top of their head?” Nate asks, and Monty shakes his head, like Nate has personally failed him.

“Fine, we’ll figure it out.”

After about a half an hour, they’ve discovered that Monty and Clarke’s apartment is both objectively better than Nate and Bellamy’s and also still financially realistic for them to keep, and there’s really no arguing with cold hard facts. Nate flops back in his chair with a sigh.

“So, I’m moving in with you.”

“Unless you have other objections.”

You’re cute, he thinks, but all he says is, “Nope. The math checks out.”

“Cool. So, we can do moving details over email? I assume it depends on when Clarke moves out and stuff. But it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Said like the guy who doesn’t have to move,” Nate grumbles.

Monty grins. “Just like that.” And then, horribly, his smile softens, making Nate’s stomach twist. “Seriously, I’m looking forward to living with you.”

He would be a monster if he did anything except smile back. “Yeah, me too.”

*

“Still hate your life?” Bellamy asks, when he gets back.

“Fuck you, this is your fault.”

“That good, huh?”

“You’re moving in with the girl you’re in love with and deserting me to–”

“Live with a guy you have a thing for. Yeah, I’m a monster. Seriously,” he adds. “You’re going to be fine.”

“You can’t make me,” Nate mutters, and Bellamy, wisely, doesn’t argue.

*

Of course, living with Monty is fine. It takes some getting used to, obviously, the same way new housing situations always do. Bellamy had a long list of quirks, which Nate eventually got used to, and now he just has to readjust to Monty’s new quirks. He keeps weird hours and sometimes doesn’t remember to control his volume when he yells at the TV, but those are eccentricities that Nate doesn’t mind. Honestly, they’re kind of bonuses. Shit like that is why he likes Monty in the first place.

If there’s a problem, it’s with Monty’s mild narcolepsy.

Okay, Nate knows it’s not really narcolepsy. He is aware that that’s a diagnosable thing and Monty doesn’t have it, as far as he knows. He’s just a napper. Like, a chronic napper. He can and will fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and this is something Nate has to deal with. Monty, curled up on the couch or with his head down on the kitchen table, sometimes actually on the floor, sleeping in a sunbeam like a fucking cat.

“Seriously,” he says, the first time that one happens. “Is this an actual medical condition? Have you checked?”

“Nope, just a lifestyle choice,” says Monty, stretching so his shirt shows off a few inches of firm stomach. “Sorry, I know it’s weird. Clarke had trouble with it too.”

This is an intriguing statement. Nate likes Clarke—he can’t help liking anyone who makes Bellamy so happy—but he can’t really imagine living with her. He feels like she’d be kind of neurotic.

So the next time the four of them are out, he says, “So, Clarke. Monty’s sleeping thing.”

“Oh wow,” she says. “Already? It took, like, months before he started falling asleep everywhere with me.”

“You helped me come to accept and love myself,” Minty tells her, and Clarke rolls her eyes.

“Oh good. Yeah, it’s weird,” she adds, to Nate. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“There’s nothing to tell!” says Monty. “I get sleepy. I’m good at power naps. It started in college. I would be in the computer lab coding and just sleep hard for fifteen minutes and feel so much better.”

“And now that’s how you live your life?” Bellamy asks, dubious.

“If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.”

“I think passing out on our floor might count as being broke,” Nate says.

“On the floor?” Clarke asks. “Really?”

“On the carpet! It’s very plush.”

“So I’m going to get used to this,” Nate says, and Clarke shakes her head.

“If he’s passing out on the carpet, he might be getting worse.”

“I can stop any time I want to,” says Monty. “I just don’t want to.”

Nate tries not to smile, but it’s ridiculous. And just a little cute.

“Well,” he says. “As long as you can stop.”

*

It doesn’t become a problem, not really, until Monty starts falling asleep on him.

It’s the natural next step, so he’s not sure why he’s so surprised, except that Monty falling asleep on him is the kind of thing he is incapable, on any level, of really thinking about, so he probably just blocked it out of his mind. It was easier to not let himself consider that he might be Monty’s next horizontal surface.

Not that it’s exactly like that, of course. It’s not as if Monty comes into his bedroom and falls asleep on top of him. But Nate’s been really into Horizon Zero Dawn, and Monty’s been watching him play, giving him advice and offering commentary. It’s a great way to spend his evenings with only a little romantic frustration, because he’s too focused on the game to really have time to think about how much he likes Monty.

Moving in together has done absolutely nothing to kill his crush, which doesn’t even make sense; surely one of Monty’s bizarre personal habits should have been a deal breaker.

He notices Monty getting quieter as the evening progresses, but he assumes, foolishly, that Monty will fall asleep the other way. There’s a whole half of the couch Nate isn’t on. He can use that part.

Instead, he slumps onto Nate’s side, and Nate’s entire brain shorts out for a long moment. It’s not like it’s that intimate. Monty’s asleep on his shoulder. He’ll probably drool.

So he fishes out his phone and texts Clarke: Did he ever fall asleep ON you

Unless she’s getting laid, Clarke basically always texts back instantly, which is one of those things Nate was happier not knowing. Luckily, the dots appear almost immediately, so at least he’s not thinking about how Bellamy is having sex while he’s trying not to freak out about Monty.

Clarke: NopeBellamy and I talked about itWe think this might be personal

Me: tf does that mean

Clarke: It seems like he’s really comfortable with you

Me: Bellamy told you

Clarke: Bellamy didn’t have to tell meYou guys are really obvious

Me: Both of us?

Clarke: He’s the one who’s sleeping on youBellamy wants a pic btw

Nate holds the phone up, lining up the shot carefully. He does it in Snapchat, so he can try a couple versions, and saves the one with no caption for himself.

Then he adds tfw your roommate thinks you’re a pillow and sends it to Clarke and Monty.

Me: Tell Bellamy to get on Snapchat if he wants pics

Clarke: He says he’ll get on Snapchat in hellWhich autocorrected back to he’ll like fifteen timesYou guys are cute

Nate: Yeah we are

*

You make a good pillow, Monty texts the next morning, while Nate is on the train to work, and he does his best not to smile.

*

Once Monty has fallen asleep on something without incident, it gets added to his rotation, and Nate is no exception. Suddenly, Monty is drifting off on him all the time, during movies, after work, one time just in the middle of the afternoon while Nate was reading. He puts his head in Nate’s lap and sighs contentedly and is dead to the world for twenty minutes while Nate quietly freaks out.

Bellamy and Clarke remain convinced this is a sign Monty wants to date him, but Nate can’t get there. It just makes no sense to him. He wants to date Monty and overthinks every single interaction; Monty just passes out like it’s nothing. There’s no way he could just fall asleep on Monty. He’s tried, even. When Monty falls asleep on him, he’ll sometimes try to lean back into it, to drift off himself, but he’s not wired like that. He’s never been good at taking naps, even when he’s not trying to cuddle with his crush and his brain won’t just shut up and let him enjoy it.

Which leaves him back almost exactly where he started, except his unrequited crush on Monty just gets worse and worse, as he knew it would. He didn’t see all of this coming–there’s no way he could have predicted the sleeping situation–but the basic outline is as he knew it would be. He likes Monty, and Monty is around all the time, which makes him like Monty more, and it’s a vicious crush cycle he knew would end up making him miserable.

But it’s the good kind of misery. The kind he doesn’t actually want to give up. But at the same time, he knows the whole thing is building to a breaking point. It’s inevitable, because that’s how feelings work. If they don’t go away, they have to come out. And there is still some small, stubborn part of him that hopes. Monty likes guys; Monty likes him. He might not have a huge, embarrassing crush like Nate does, but that doesn’t mean he might not be interested in trying something out.

This would probably be a good way to present the issue, and Nate wishes he’d gone with it.

Instead, Monty wakes up from a nap in his lap one Saturday afternoon and smiles at him, all warm and sleepy, and Nate jumps up like he’s been scalded to keep from kissing him.

Monty frowns, adjusts his glasses, cocks his head. “Uh, everything–”

“You have to stop doing that.”

The frown deepens. “Stop doing what?”

“I don’t care if you sleep on the floor, but you can’t sleep on me.”

“Oh,” he says, and now he looks hurt, and fuck Nate’s entire life. “Sorry, I didn’t know it bothered you.”

Nate lets out a breath. “That’s not–it’s not what you’re thinking.” Monty cocks his head, there’s no getting out of it. “I like you, okay? Like–like you. It’s not a big deal, but I need you to not–”

“No, it’s a big deal,” Monty says, but there’s a grin growing on his face, and the tension in Nate’s chest slowly uncoils. “We really can’t just breeze past that, that’s–”

“You’re going to need to tell me if it’s good news before you go any farther.”

“Great news,” says Monty, and then they’re kissing, and Nate’s brain finally shuts the fuck up.

*

“This is weird,” Nate remarks, that night.

“What’s weird?”

“You’re falling asleep on me in a bed. Like a normal person.”

“I sleep in a bed every night,” Monty says, curling himself around Nate. It’s possibly stupid to move as quickly as they are, but it’s not like this hasn’t been building for both of them. Monty’s liked him too, this whole time.

It’s pretty awesome.

“I’m just saying, this is a new one for me.”

“Whatever,” says Monty, closing his eyes. “You’ll get used to it.”

“I guess I will,” he agrees.

Honestly, he can’t wait.

[aki-chan2014]

Amaranthine: second generation headcanon list

And after what feels like forever, here is the Amaranthine second-gen list. I had a lot of ideas for this beyond what I covered in the story, and compiling the list gave me yet more, so as a result there's a bonus section of second genners here that have no role or mention in the story here as well.I might or might not write more fics around this AU that might or might not end up including them, but if you want to know more about a particular kid (or their 3E parent, for that matter!), feel free to drop me an ask or whatever :)

Anyway, I hope you find this list (starting under the cut, as always!)interesting, and here's the link to the original story:   https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11912649/1/Amaranthine

Note 1: Though I've given birth years for all of them, only Kaguya has a birthday listed, because she's the only one who I assigned a specific birthday to.

Note 2: There are some death dates listed for children here, but though there are quite a few in the bonus section that I imagine to have premature deaths, I’ve only made a point of listing the death dates for those who died as children/babies rather than just generally young. This is because for the ones whose premature deaths occur in adulthood, I haven’t decided a year/age they die at, just general circumstances.

Note 3: Something weird happened when I copy-pasted this from word to the post, so though I've tried to neaten it up the fonts and format may be weird.

Main

Rinka Hayami and Ryuunosuke Chiba

Kaguya Hayami, born 20th May, 2031. She is named Kaguya because of her mother’s fear that somehow, she’d turn out to not really belong to her, that she was a loan from the gods to make up for their cruelty in killing Chiba, and that one day she’d have to give her back. Though Kaguya is a warm natured person who gets along with others and expresses her emotions easily, she is as reserved and quiet as both her parents are/were. Though mother and daughter have always gotten on, the night Hayami revealed everything about the past to her marked a new, deeper closeness between them.  Kaguya’s closest childhood/school friends are Iruka and Ageha Akasaka (see below).

  Hinano Kurahashi

Masami Akasaka (former surname Tachibana), born 2023. Her bio parents were childhood friends of her father, and they made him and Hinano her legal guardians, which is how they came to adopt her when she was four and her parents died in an accident. Though she calls them ‘Papa Shinji’ and ‘Mama Hinano’ all her life, she considers them her parents as much as her bio ones, and loves them deeply. Masami is cheerful and happy-go-lucky, and has a wide variety of interests. She goes on to have a large family herself.

Suzume Akasaka, born 2027. Elder twin by fifteen minutes, she’s basically a brown-eyed version of Hinano, except more sparky and argumentative. In elementary and early middle school, she gets into a lot of fights-though usually with good intention-but she grows out of this before she can be labelled a delinquent, much to everyone’s relief.  She adores dogs most of all and thus ends up running a dog shelter.

Tsubame Akasaka, born 2027. Despite being the younger twin, she tends to be the bossier, take-charge one in a way more befitting an older sibling. She loves pranks, especially twin-switch ones, and would have probably gotten along well with Rio in another life, and later on life this translates to a general carefree attitude about life.

Iruka ‘Iru’ Akasaka, born 2030. He often despairs at being the only brother in a bunch of sisters, but on the other hand it means that he is well acquaintance with the quirks and foibles of females and is rarely fazed by anything (though he tends to be the straight man in most social interactions).  This makes him a bit of an oddity amongst his classmates and friends throughout his life, but also leaves them in awe of him. He tries on a variety of careers and eventually settles on training as a teacher and working for The Sanctuary (the school that Megu, Hinano and Hayami eventually make from the old 3E campus once Gakuho Asano dies) once it opens. He goes by his nickname because he finds his actual name a little dorky (“seriously, who wants to be named ‘dolphin’?”)

Ageha ‘Acchan’ Akasaka, born 2032. A precocious reader and quick to pick up mathematical concepts, she ends up skipping a year near the end of elementary school, and ends up in the same year as Kaguya for middle and high school. Physically speaking, she’s the one who resembles her father the most.

 Megu Kataoka

Misa Watanabe (former surname Takechi), born 2036. The elder twin by ten minutes, Misa is fierce and overprotective of her two little brothers, and has always been mature for her age. She is the one that remembers the most of her old parents, and though she has no wish to reconnect with that aspect of her life, she bears the scars in the form of having trouble in letting herself be helped. She develops a passion for the stars and pursues this to become one of the most influential astronomers of her generation.

Manabu Watanabe (former surname Takechi), born 2036. Though he’s technically the quieter twin, Manabu is no less protective or dedicated than his sister is. He eventually goes on to be a policeman and values the justice system highly, so when his mother dies and he receives her letter, the contents don’t sit easy with him. He does eventually reconcile it though, and goes on to work closely with The Sanctuary afterwards.

Yuuma Watanabe (former surname Takechi, no first name before adoption), born 2037. Sweet and imaginative, Yuuma can seem as gentlemanly and kind as his namesake, but a lot more dreamy and sometimes more innocent. He struggles in school most of his life, but works hard and makes it through, and becomes a relatively successful novelist-many of the squad, Isogai included, become fans of his works.

Bonus

 Squad members

Touka Yada

Eriko Sakakibara, born 2020. The unplanned, unwanted consequence of a mission when Yada was 20, Eriko was abandoned and eventually adopted, and knows nothing of her biological mother’s background. Her adoptive parents were not very loving or warm parents and as a result Eriko had a rough, rebellious adolescence which ended in a teenage pregnancy that resulted in her beloved daughter, Marika (who eventually ends up in the first 3E that Megu, Hinano and Hayami teach). This gave Eriko a purpose, and she pulled herself together worked extremely hard to be able to bring her up alone, giving her the love and nurturing that she herself never experienced and eventually becoming the co-owner of a successful cat cafe.

  Takuya Muramatsu

Natsuya Muramatsu, born 2027.Though his brash behaviour and relaxed attitude to dress code make him seem a lot like the stereotypical delinquent in a similar way to how his father appeared, in truth he is a lot more shrewd, sly and smart than that, which makes him the perfect candidate to take over Takuya’s role in the squad when the time comes. 

Shin’ya Muramatsu, born 2028. A quiet guy who goes with the flow and prefers to stay out of conflict, Shin’ya is more than happy to stay behind the scenes and be the cook while Natsuya takes the lead and does most of the squad-related things.

Tomohito Sugino and Yukiko Kanzaki

Nanako Sugino, born 2024, deceased 2027. Though she was unplanned and initially seen as an inconvenience by her parents, she was loved deeply and her death due to a sickness and medical negligence hit both her parents hard. Her memory is often used as a driving motivation behind the squad’s targeting of corrupt medical industries and hospitals (things that contributed to Nanako’s death). Nanako was basically a typical happy three year old who loved fairies and unicorns. She was also notably pretty.

Yuuma Isogai

Megumi Isogai, born 2027. She would have been named ‘Megu’, but her mother thought that was an incomplete name and argued for other alternatives-‘Megumi’ was the compromise in the end, but she is still definitely named for Megu Kataoka. Anyway, she never seems to fit in with her family despite being very much her father’s favourite (she even looks a lot like him, minus the ahoge), and after a childhood of railing against a sheltered upbringing, she runs away from home at the age of 17 and is never heard of again. It is unclear how much she knew of her family’s activities prior to this.

Mayuri Isogai, born 2030. Probably the most docile and compliant of the three Isogai daughters, she is basically the other extreme of having such a sheltered, insular childhood. She goes on to take on a job in one of Yada’s legitimate business ventures, reporting back relevant information to her family and the rest of the squad but otherwise keeping on the right side of the law.  She’s pleasant enough and fiercely loyal to her family, but doesn’t have much of a personality.

Tsumugi Isogai, born 2032. Though she tended to get a little restless from being so coddled, being a Tsumugi never actually minded it that much. She’s generally a chill person, though with a slightly cold streak-she tends to be hurtful in her words and rarely shows much compassion to others apart from her family (except for Megumi, who she always dismisses as ‘causing drama’ whenever she’s mentioned). She goes on to become one of the squad’s main assassins.

Saki Isogai, born 2033. Probably the most relaxed and ‘normal’ of the Isogai siblings, Saki decides on a law-abiding life, though she always stays close to her family-she takes the option of pretending she knows nothing. After all, her upbringing was such that such a thing is plausible. In taking this approach, she proves herself more strategic and calculating than most people around her would give her credit for, especially as she seems so straightforward. Saki is also the only sibling who has inherited the Isogai ahoge.

  Hiroto Maehara

(Note: All of these kids are the result of reckless flings/affairs/one-night stands that occur during, but not related to, various squad missions)

Yuka Yamada, born 2022. Abandoned by her young mother as a toddler, Yuka has a rough, abusive childhood in care and winds up gravitating towards crime as a teenager and running away. Various tricky life events occur before she eventually cleans up her act and gets work at a florists. During one of the rough years, she meets and helps Megumi Isogai, and though their friendship lasts only a few months and they never kept in contact, that time helped to contribute towards Yuka’s subsequent decision to straighten out.

Kimiya Satsuki, born 2025. The result of an affair, Kimiya has no idea that the person he calls ‘Dad’ is not actually his father. He is the second of four children (one older brother, one younger brother, one younger sister), and has a happy childhood in a coastal town, and grows up to run his family inn.

Kazunari Taira, born 2031, deceased 2040. Small for his age, Kazunari was hyperactive and funny and full of plans and ideas. The only child that Maehara actually had a  (distant but still fond) relationship with, Kazunari died in what was disguised as an accident, but was a murder made as a threat to the squad (his mother is oblivious to this truth, thankfully). After his death, Maehara vowed to be a lot more careful in the future so that he didn’t have any more children who could come to such harm.

Anna-Louisa ‘Ally’ Warren (nee Harding), born 2039. Raised in America, Anna had a slightly tough but generally loving childhood, and though she always wondered about her father (especially as her mother couldn’t give many answers beyond the vague), it was not until well into her adult life after a bitter divorce that she was motivated to go to Japan to try and track him down. She did not succeed, but ended up seduced by the culture and decided to make a fresh start there. She ended up working at one of Yada’s legitimate business ventures, and Yada instantly suspected who she could be, but decided to keep it secret from both of them.

   Other non-squad members

Taisei Yoshida

Seiko Yoshida, born 2026. A pretty, popular girl, Seiko always sensed that there’s a part of her father that comes from another sort of world (as she thinks of it), and is the only one of her siblings who is interested in it. As a result, she ends up often helping her father pass on cards from Isogai and things like that, and ends up working for Yuzuki Fuwa in her quest to become a private detective (which she achieves). Childhood friends with the Itou kids (see below), she dates and eventually marries Ichiro, the eldest.

Taichi Yoshida, born 2029. Loud, annoying but ultimately well meaning, he’s basically a typical annoying little brother towards Seiko, and a protective-but-teasing older brother to Ema. He becomes part of a boy band in his late teens until his mid-twenties (he’s quite the good singer), but then when they disband goes to work for his dad’s garage.

Ema Yoshida, born 2032. Otherwise super-girly and basically tiny and sweet and adorable, she surprises everyone by showing an aptitudes for mechanics, and seems to take a little too much pleasure from subverting expectations. She ends up going to the same university as Ageha, and though they end up in a lot of the same classes during their degrees and know each other well as a result, they don’t connect enough for them to realise any connections between their families.

  Sumire Hara

Ichiro Itou, born 2026. A brotherly, caring type who charms everyone he encounters, the handsome Ichiro is pretty much as popular as Seiko and in high school they’re basically the golden couple. He has an odd but deep interest in different types of tea.

Asahi Itou, born 2028. Eldest of the triplets, Asahi is a headstrong, fierce girl who knows what she wants and just aims for it, with little hesitation. A feminist, she’s radical enough in her views as a young girl to rail against the fact that her mother is a housewife, and does not understand why she would be happy with that or how she could choose that. She only gains that understanding as an adult, and thus for a lot of her life her relationship with her mother is tense.

Mahiru Itou, born 2028. Headstrong like Asahi, but more measured than fierce, Mahiru is generally considered the more sensible of the triplets. She eventually goes on to be a criminal lawyer, and has several close brushes with the squad, which causes her mother no end of anxiety, though Sumire never tells her precisely why she keeps begging Mahiru to find another job.

Yuuhi Itou, born 2028. The youngest of the triplets. He’s close friends with Taichi Yoshida, being the quieter, more anxious straight man to Taichi’s impulsive, reckless goofball, and he also joins the band that Taichi joins as a late teen (he plays the drums). When the band splits up, he goes into music production. He struggles with anxiety for a lot of his life, but manages it.

Kaoru Itou, born 2030. Very interested in fashion, Kaoru is flamboyant, imaginative and creative, and loves to make clothes and accessories for his nearest and dearest, and makes a successful career out of it. He moves to Australia as an adult, but visits Japan constantly.

Mirai Itou, born 2037. A surprise child, he’s very much coddled and adored by the rest of his family, and acts a little spoiled because of this. However he’s a hardworking, passionate person, and as someone who never really fits in with the strict educational system (though he does well), he is eventually motivated to also work for The Sanctuary.

  Kirara Hazama

Shiki Nakajima, born and deceased 2027. A stillborn son, his name is written to mean ‘poem’. Though his parents think of him pretty much every day and he is still thought of as part of the family (his name is still on the plaque listing the family’s names outside the Nakajima’s front door), he is not talked about.

Bunko Nakajima, born 2033. A sunny faced, sunny natured girl, nobody can believe that she and Hazama are related when they look at the two of them together. The only feature they appear to share is curly hair, and even that’s a stretch. However, Bunko is just as book obsessed as her mother (and her father, for that matter) and has a similar dark sense of humour and interest/knowledge in the occult and she can be creepy when she wants to be. She starts a book-critique blog called ‘Literary Child’ (which is what her name means) that becomes a hit in the book world.

  Taiga Okajima

Kiyomi Okajima, born 2031. Brash, down to earth, overly blunt and not easily fazed, Kiyomi is not someone you want to challenge. A lesbian, she finds it hilarious that her father’s reaction to her coming out in her teens is to be happy that he can pass down his own porn collection from his adolescence instead of having to find male porn to give to her. Though she does turn it down anyway.

  Karma Akabane

Saito Akabane, born 2028. Physically resembling his father, he is nothing like him personality wise, being a straight-laced, overly serious sort of person who goes onto become a doctor. It horrifies him when he learns of his father’s past and the sort of people his former classmates became, and his struggle to understand it causes a rift in their relationship for a while, but they reconcile when Saito has his own children.

Toshiko Akabane, born 2029. A bit more cheeky and relaxed, Toshiko does seem a lot more like her father, personality wise. Though she’s generally someone who believes in the law, for some reason she finds it easier to accept her father’s past. Witnessing horrible experiences classmates and friends go through, she is eventually motivated to open a women’s shelter, walking away from a shiny government job to achieve this. She allows the squad to refer people they rescue to her.

[aphroditeurl]

If I'm doing all the asks then so are you.

>.> fineeee

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

Play video games, I’m not gonna lie about that. 

2. What’s your favourite piece of clothing you own/owned?

I have a black dress I bought for myself a couple years ago that makes me look like a badass Bond villain. And I look sexy as all hell in it. 

3. What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?

I want to make custom dolls idk

4. What would your perfect room look like?

PINK i’m a fucking girly girl

5. How often do you play sports?

Never...I am not into sports. Watching others though is fun

6. What fictional place would you most like to go?

Diagon Alley

7. What job would you be terrible at?

Anything involving math. So I would make an awful accountant.

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning medal for?

Being sick apparently...nah I’m pretty good at graphic design I think

9. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

I am afraid of heights so never

10. What is the most annoying habit other people have?

loud chewing, I will want to murder you I Promise

11. What job do you think you’d be good at?

Anything with animals, I have a passion for them

12. What skill would you like to master?

A different language. Being bi-lingual would be cool. I hate English. 

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

Oh fuck I want to travel. Even to places considered “dangerous”. I want to go everywhere, I have A NEED. I’m a sucker for those exploration videos on youtube. 

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house that you would live in for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

Firstly it would be a beach house because I love water and beaches. Secondly, it’d have at least four bedrooms, maybe six. And a full sized basement. I want it to look Magical As Fuck. For reasons. There will be an aquarium in it.

15. What’s your favourite drink?

Coke. The drink.

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?

I miss Michigan a lot. I loved it there. 

17. What songs have you completely memorized?

A lot?? too vague

18. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?

STARDEW VALLEY. Sustainable farming is sexy. 

19. What do you consider to be your best friend?

@sedris-the-meme-king

20. Are you usually early or late?

Early. Like twenty minutes early. Anxiety fuels me.

21. What pets did you have while you were growing up?

A lot of cats, a few dogs, hamsters, and a couple bunnies. I love animals.

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?

Relationship advice

23. What takes up too much of your time?

Depression 

24. What do you wish you knew more about?

Space law. Which is weird. The concept of space really scares me but it’s also a little fascinating. 

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?

“is my cat ok?”

26. What are some small things that make your day better? 

Getting random texts from ppl. 

27. Who’s your go to band or artist when you cannot decide on something to listen to?

Rihanna or Halsey 

28. What’s the best way to start the day?

By sleeping in a little longer

29. What shows are you into?

Anything that’s paranormal, pretty much anything on TLC, Gordon Ramsey is Good

30. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?

@floating-in-the-dark for being a good bean 

31. What age do you wish you could permanently be?

18. That was a fun age dude. 

32. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 Reasons Why, Game of Thrones, I’m petty 

33. What would be your ideal way to spent the weekend?

Video games, ice cream, kissing, things of that nature, maybe going to the movies, exploring a haunted abandoned hospital, casual things you know

34. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don’t think you could live without?

My phone

35. What’s your claim to fame?

Idk what this means???

36. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?

Dating. I’m sort of a cliche geek ok. 

37. What’s your favourite genre of book or movie?

Horror for movie and fantasy for books

38. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?

God phoning. Non-pagans won’t get this. 

39. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

The first of every month because it feels sorta refreshing

40. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

Sexual education 

that’s a joke but I am also serious

41. How do you relax after a hard day of work?

I watch youtube videos and play some games, or RP

42. What was the best book or series that you’ve ever read?

The Maze Runner. Sorta corny but it was enjoyable. 

43. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

California. 10/10 would go back. 

44. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?

“I would blink” out of context this makes no sense but it meant a lot to me in context 

45. What is the most annoying question people ask you?

“Are you SURE you’re __ age?” I am small, I sound 12, but yes I promise I AM TWENTY

46. What could you give a 30-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?

Harry Potter at any given moment. Esp Draco Malfoy. 

47. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Tbh??? Move away to a completely new place that you have no connections in. That sounds crazy stupid but really, it was the best choice I ever made. 

48. Would you rather go hang gliding or whitewater rafting?

Whitewater rafting

49. What’s your dream car?

1967 Thunderbird bitches 

50. What’s worth spending more on to get the best?

Make-up, and bath stuff 

51. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?

Game of Thrones lmao

52. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

School. I can’t wait to start college in the fall. 

53. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?

UP Michigan 

54. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it?

There are lot of ways to answer this. 

I want to try a ghost pepper lmao

55. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week?

I started talking to someone really sweet

56. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience for the first time again?

Undertale tbh

57. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have?

I’d work at a graveyard no joke

58. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see?

Absolutely nothing my dudes

59. How different was your life one year ago?

Extremely different and I sorta miss it

60. What quirks do you have?

I wiggle my mouth from side to side when I am in thought, I tend to rub my nose randomly, I walk on the balls of my feet

61. What would you rate 10/10?

@funkypanda

62. What fad or trend do you hope comes back?

I!! Want!! 90s!! Fashion!! Back!!

63. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?

anything @floating-in-the-dark has done

64. What kind of art do you enjoy most?

See above answer

65. What do you hope never changes?

Most of my friendships

66. What city would you most like to live in?

Londonnnnn 

67. What movie title best describes your life?

The Boss Baby 

68. What did you decide to do the work you are doing now?

Huh????

69. What’s the best way a person can spend their time?

Being kind to others

70. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?

Some really weird shit dude 

71. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?

UP Michigan lol

72. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you?

Meeting my best friend 

73. Where would you rather be from?

Canada 

74. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn?

My temper, some bad habits that were formed from anxiety

75. What are you looking forward to in the coming months?

School, getting a puppy, summer

76. What website do you usually go on when you have time off?

Tumblrr

77. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

Japannnnn or South Korea

78. What is special about the place you grew up?

Everyone was a community. We all supported each other. 

79. What age do you want to live to?

100+ cause I fear death a lot

80. What are you most likely to become famous for?

The Biggest Baby Award

81. What are you absolutely determined to do?

Finish school and become a zoologist cause that’s the dream

82. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

I can code and shit????? idk

83. What do you wish you knew more about?

Space law

84. What question would you most like to know the answer to?

“will I ever be successful at anything” 

[junker-town]

How sports is Seven Worlds, One Planet: Episode 6?

Kei Nomiyama / Barcroft Media via Getty Images

David Attenborough’s new show is epic ... and sports.

We continue our extremely important mission to conduct a scene-by-scene review of the BBC’s new nature documentary, Seven Worlds, One Planet, in order to see how sports it is. We determined that Episode 1, which focused on Antarctica, was reasonably sports. Asia was very sports, as was South America. Australia was more drinking than sports, and Europe was extremely sports. Now it’s time for ...

Episode 6 North America

Scene 1: The Hare Hunt

Unless you’re either exceptionally lucky or exceptionally cynical in your choice of teams, following sports can be a thoroughly miserable experience. Every year, most teams fail, and they fail in heartbreaking ways. A sports obsession is a form of emotional gambling, and the house tends to win. Why do we do this to ourselves? I think it’s because we have to. Humans are fascinated by games, and, once captivated, it’s difficult to escape.

Sports might be a bad bet, but for many people they’re nourishing in a way that — the efforts of political punditry aside — cannot be found anywhere else. Also, while there’s not much joy in watching your team fail, it’s a lot of fun to watch everyone else’s also fail. Sports are schadenfreude.

Anyway in this scene a lynx repeatedly fails to catch a hare.

I spy with my little eye...a snowshoe hare #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/Y2nCQi8tDe

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

I think, if we were somehow turned into wild animals, most of us would choose to be apex predators. Being a prey creature, constantly at risk and having to stay on high alert all the time ... well, that sounds really too stressful. But most hunts end in failure, and barring freakish luck, predators seem hungry all the time, which can’t be any less stressful.

I think the lesson here is not to be a wild animal.

This particular lynx is stalking snowshoe hares in the depth of the Yukon winter. It looks cold, hungry, and miserable, and has to walk hundreds of miles in search for food, and when it finds one the hare just hides in a bush. A second hare also runs away and hides in a bush. Being a hare and getting chased by a lynx can’t be fun, but being a very peevish and hungry lynx would hardly be a good time either.

Aesthetics 10/10

Cats must be nature’s most stylish terrestrial predator. Even the smaller ones, like lynx, move with an instantly-recognisable grace. They’re beautiful creatures, made even lovelier by the pristine snow of the Canadian north.

Good lynx.

Difficulty 8/10

It’s obviously quite hard to catch a snowshoe hare.

Competitiveness 8/10

Frankly the hares seem to have the lynx overmatched, although the continued existence of any lynx at all implies that the contest is closer than it looks from these scenes.

Overall 26/30

I hope we’ve established that failure is, perhaps, the essence of sport.

Scene 2: Chubby Fish Boys

In Tennessee, a fish is building a fortress. And honestly, it’s pretty impressive:

BBC Earth

This contraption is the responsibility of a male river chub. In early spring, these foot-long fish embark on a quest to breed. The males seek out a quiet section of river in which to build a nest. These structures can get rather elaborate — they’re significantly larger than the fish themselves and can contain up to 7,000 pebbles, all placed by mouth. The males, for some reason, also decide to get much uglier:

What you would see looking out from a microwave. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet #isitready pic.twitter.com/V64RyDcyUo

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Sorry boys, but bloated-foreheads-with-weird-growths is very much not my aesthetic. But my opinion doesn’t much matter to a river chub. What matters is the nest. These rocky piles provide shelter from both current and predators, should a female chub choose to lay her eggs there, and so building the best nest becomes fiercely competitive. Pebble theft is common.

Eventually the lady chubs make their choices, the eggs are laid and fertilised, and a new generation of fish is reared as the Mississippi slowly washes away those hard-build nests.

Aesthetics 1/10

These are some ugly fish and I really don’t like them.

Difficulty 4/10

Granted, it would be more difficult and time consuming without arms, but I imagine I could make a pile of several thousand rocks without too much trouble.

Competitiveness 8/10

Fighting over building materials and doing your best to build a very good nest? It’s a cut-throat chub world.

Overall 13/30

This is architecture. Architecture, while cool, is not sports.

Scene 3: Tidal Bears

Thanks to various quirks of geography, sections of the eastern coast of North America are subject to some of the planet’s highest tides. Tide present opportunities for land animals to harvest the rich bounty of the seas, and there’s no more opportunistic land animal than the bear.

Tidal zones might be rich in food but they’re also disgusting, rank places, with the stench of half-rotten seaweed everywhere. You can almost smell it coming through the screens. But we’ve dealt with the turd penguins, so we’ll forgive this bear family their rancid crab snacks. This is, or so we’re told, the cubs’ first visit to the seaside. They seem to be enjoying it:

A fierce hunter retreats with his starfish catch#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/QjLDxWpig7

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Sibling rivalry...a tale as old as time#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/0zgCE3yKzp

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

However! Much like last week in Europe, the baby bears encounter a male whole isn’t their father, and are forced to flee up a tree to avoid his wrath. Fortunately, just like during the Finnish forest scene, nothing too bad happens. The grumpy male bear leaves a scent mark on the tree — how anyone might smell with so much seaweed around is beyond me, but bears have noses many thousands of times more powerful than ours, poor things — and the family skedaddles back to safety.

Aesthetics 5/10

These are some adorable, bears but while I love the seaside I have a visceral reaction to seeing much exposed seaweed. Gross.

Difficulty 8/10

The various climbs the little bears undertake seem sort of difficult, as evidenced by:

He’s beauty and he’s grace, he’s fallen on his face #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/UYONQtceiT

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Did I add this just because it’s cute? Yes, obviously.

Competitiveness 0/10

Despite things threatening to happen, nothing actually happens.

Overall 13/30

A stroll down the beach to munch on some crabs is not sports unless someone actually tries to fight the big bear at the end.

Scene 4: Fireflies

If you’re lucky enough to live in a part of the world inhabited by fireflies, make sure you take advantage of those lazy summer evenings when the temperature is just right to draw them out. The little beetles twinkle in the air like borrowed stars, adding magic wherever they go.

BBC Earth

Since this is nature, of course, the flashing of their lights is basically morse code for “S E X M E P L S”, the sort of neon signs one might imagine populating a red-light district, but the lurid nature of the show hardly takes away from the beauty.

And since, again, this is nature, sometimes the lights are a trap. There are some species of fireflies which have evolved the ability to mimic others species mating signals, using their lights to attract an innocent bug looking for a mate and eating it.

This sequence doesn’t show that degree of aggressive mimicry, but we get an accidental one instead, with fireflies finding themselves glowing postmortem in a spider’s web, which summons more fireflies which etc. It’s a very pretty dinner.

Aesthetics 10/10

Yeah this is an easy call.

Difficulty 7/10

This isn’t talked about at all during the scene, but I really wonder how on Earth individual fireflies manage to cut through the noise of tens of thousands of other fireflies to hone in on potential mates. Is their vision short-ranged enough that most of the lights gets diffused into the background? If you tried to get me to pick a specific firefly out of that video I would not do a very good job.

Competitiveness 7/10

Following on from the last part, I’m slightly baffled as to how fireflies differentiate themselves from their firefly competitors. Many mating rituals have an obvious ‘fitness’ component to them, but I can’t tell here. Is it because the world of coleoptera sex is just too alien for me to comprehend? I hope so. (The spider part gives this zero bonus points because that shit is really just too easy.)

Overall 24/30

If humans could glow, synchronised people-glowing would be an Olympic sport.

Scene 5: The Tale of the Naughty Prairie Dog That Only Listened To Its Mother Sometimes

Once upon a time, there were six little prairie dogs living in a hole in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains. They were good little prairie dogs, or so they thought. They played nicely with each other (sometimes), kept the burrow clean (sometimes) and even listened to their mother (sometimes). They liked their burrow, and had lots of good grass and seats to eat. The six little prairie dogs had a good life.

They were neighbours with a burrowing owl family, and were good friends with their chicks. They didn’t see them very much, because the owls preferred to come out later, but the chicks liked to play almost as much as the prairie dogs and the mother owl wasn’t nearly as strict as the prairie dogs’.

The prairie dogs thought that their mother worried at little bit too much. She insisted that they not go too far from their burrow — the world was “big and dangerous,” she said, and they were small and many creatures might find them tasty. Their mother also forced them to return to the burrow at a moment’s notice, even if they were having fun playing or had found a particularly tasty patch of grass!

Their mother, the prairie dogs decided, was clearly overthinking things. Surely the world couldn’t be as dangerous as she thought. Nothing scared the cubs.

She is having none of it #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/JHIYxbTc9u

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

So slowly, as they got older, they started sneaking further away from the burrow. Whenever they could, they’d also wait a little longer to respond to their mother’s recall shout. Nothing bad ever happened. The world didn’t seem so big and dangerous after all.

One day, as they were playing, the little prairie dogs noticed the burrowing owl mother driving off a badger. “I wish she was our mother,” the eldest and most rebellious of the little prairie dogs. “Look how safe she keeps her family! Our mother just tells us never do to anything.”

The prairie dogs kept playing, glad that the badger had gone away. They’d never seen a predator before, but something told them them the badger was bad news. But with it gone, they could eat and play all day.

The eldest of the little prairie dogs was wrestling with his youngest sister when they heard their mother shouting for them to come home. “Let’s go back,” said his sister.

“Don’t be such a scaredy-dog,” said the eldest. “There’s nothing here that can hurt us. That badger went away ages ago. Mother’s just being ridiculous again. Stay and play.”

“Are you sure?” said his sister.

“Of course I’m sure.”

So the two little prairie dogs kept on wrestling.

The look your dad gives you when you announce that the whole family is going on a juice cleanse.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/v7DH1OxmyS

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

For the rest of his short existence, the eldest of the now-five little prairie dogs had to live with the guilt of his sister’s death.

Aesthetics 7/10

The prairies are not the continent’s finest scenery, but the little prairie dogs are very cute. And quite tasty-looking.

Difficulty 6/10

The ending wasn’t very difficult, but the badger did a lot of hard work to sneak up on the prairie dogs. The burrowing owl attack was pretty good too.

Competitiveness 10/10

Badger against baby prairie dogs? Not a contest. But a little burrowing owl (8 ounces) taking on a whole-ass badger (20 pounds) to defend her young? That’s the stuff right there.

Bonus point for the, uh, ill-judged prairie dog wrestling.

Overall 22/30

Depressing sports. Also, listen to your mom, kids.

Scene 6: Meep Meep!

Like many others, I was devastated to discover that roadrunners were neither blue nor locked in an elaborate, contraption-fueled feud with technically adept but curiously stubborn coyotes. Roadrunners are, in fact, little brown birds that like to eat lizards. Here is one on the hunt.

Practising for when Coyote turns up.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/vbRCqA2zxW

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

I was also devastated to find out that they don’t actually say “meep, meep”. It’s as though Looney Tunes was lying to me all along.

The roadrunner hunt is really quite odd. It doesn’t go after a gila monster (fair enough), and fails to chase down a couple of spindly-legged speedsters (fair enough), but it totally ignores a half-buried horny toad, and then at one point investigates a tasty-looking lizard of unknown description and instead of catching it lets it run away. And then chases after it.

I’m starting to suspect that roadrunners aren’t that smart. And with the lizard hunt not going very well, this one settles on a centipede. Job mediocrely done — my kind of bird.

Aesthetics 7/10

There’s a pure component to aesthetics, certainly. A goldeneye duck, for instance, is a beautiful bird in any context. But there’s also an aesthetic of time and place, and a roadrunner in the American West just feels right. It’s dusty and dirty chasing, after other dusty and dirty things, and while I might have preferred something blue and meepy, this’ll do.

Difficulty 5/10

Catching lizards in the heat can’t be easy, but there are so many unforced errors here it’s hard to give this a high difficulty score even when the hunt ends up mostly failing.

Competitiveness 8/10

Idiot bird vs. lizard seems like a pretty good fight.

Overall 20/30

Running aimlessly and mostly failing to get the job done? That’s a sport. I mean, I’ve just watched an Arsenal game.

Scene 7: Mullet Hunt

Somehow this is not a hair metal tribute band’s tribute band. I’m sorry if this disappoints you. Instead, we have grey mullet, a medium-sized coastal fish moving south with the currents off Florida. They’re moving south in vast numbers, too, with millions of fish heading towards their spawning grounds.

The mullet stay close to the shore in order to avoid the worst of the predators, yet somehow manage to go more or less undetected by the human sea-goers. But running in-shore only works for so long. Eventually the mullet draw the attention of a group of tarpon, large fish with a very large appetite. And so the hunt begins:

To get close to the mullet in the shallows, the tarpon turn on their sides now the mullet can’t see their shining silver flanks.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/mhgpgzO4Jx

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

The tarpon gorge on the mullet, and are soon joined by sharks and pelicans. But no matter how many predators converge upon the giant school, they can’t make much of a dent in its numbers, and the mullet keep moving south sans a few thousand fish.

Aesthetics 9/10

I very much enjoy the overhead shots of bait fish, and it’s especially fun to see them having to move around predators (the tarpon are magnificent) as well as human interlopers.

Difficulty 6/10

The tarpon, sharks and pelicans have it pretty easy. The mullet are jammed so tight to the shore that there’s nowhere to escape, so they mostly don’t. For the mullet there’s safety in numbers, but only for reasons of sheer probability.

Competitiveness 5/10

Not much of a fight, but I think sheer weight of numbers plays a factor here. The tarpon are trying to reduce a population 10,000 times their size. Granted, they probably think that sounds more ‘delicious’ than ‘intimidating’, but it’s a relatively tall order.

Overall 20/30

Sure. Fishing is a sport.

Scene 8: Sea Cows

America’s swamps aren’t always hot and humid. The shape of the continent allows arctic weather systems to penetrate right down to the south coast, dropping the temperature below freezing. Alligators can go into a sort of cold fugue state, dropping their heart rate to a beat per minute and sticking their snouts above the ice to make sure they can still breathe. But manatees cannot, and so they need to migrate somewhere warmer.

The waters off Florida should still be too cold for them during the winter, but Florida is an unusual place, and that strangeness manifests itself here through some surprisingly benevolent hydrology. The peninsula’s underground river systems are significantly warmer than the sea, and that’s where manatees see out the cold.

Some manatee babies get bored of all the waiting and play an unusual game:

BBC Earth

Yes, that is an alligator

In the depths of winter it’s not sleepy alligators which threaten the manatees. Instead, it’s boats. Florida’s water-ways are obnoxiously packed with motorboats, and dozens of manatees are killed by propellor strikes every year. Many of those that don’t die bear the scars of collisions, which are common even on young manatees.

Maybe learn to sail, Florida?

Aesthetics 7/10

Manatees aren’t cute, but the overhead shots have a sort of dreamy quality, like we’re watching a surrealist film about ambulant gnocchi. Also, the frozen alligator is very cool.

Difficulty 10/10

The baby manatee annoys an alligator. ANNOYS. AN. ALLIGATOR.

Competitiveness 4/10

Ok, let’s be fair: it’s a pretty sleepy alligator.

Overall 21/30

Most of this sequence is not a sport. Annoying alligators? That’s definitely a sport, albeit one I must legally recommend you not partake in.

Scene 9: White Whaling

I knew I shouldn’t have used so many Herman Melville references in the first episode, because we now have a genuine white whale hunt on our hands. Canada is warming faster than any other country on the planet, which has led to some difficult times for polar bears. Used to hunting on sea ice, which gives them a platform and a means to ambush the marine mammals they eat, the bears have had to adapt to a warming climate in which ice is much rarer.

Fortunately, bears are adaptable. Along Hudson Bay, a group of bears has developed a new hunting technique: they go whaling.

Polar bears are so dependent on the ocean, they are officially classed as ‘marine mammals’.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/pZzBtdLbFc

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

Bears, as it turns out, are not very good at chasing down belugas by swimming at them. But the older, smarter bears have a better technique: standing on a small rock, conveniently placed some distance into the water, and dive-bombing the whales as they swing by. This technique proves more fruitful, and one bloody encounter later, the bear is dragging a very dead whale to shore to share with his friends.

Polar bears are fucking terrifying.

Aesthetics 8/10

We’re used to seeing polar bears in icy conditions, so it’s quite nice to see them frolicking somewhere else.

Just a polar bear lying in a flower meadow #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/jiU5WDG7TO

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) December 1, 2019

As ever, the drone shots are magical.

Difficulty 10/10

An adult beluga can weigh up to 4,000 pounds. Imagine having to kill one in an ambush fast enough that it couldn’t escape.

Competitiveness 10/10

It takes a lot of brains and patience for the bears to overcome the fact the whales are far superior swimmers.

Overall 28/30

Diving is a sport, and it’s even more of a sport if you have to try to kill a whale with your teeth as you dive. From hell’s heart I bite at thee etc., etc., etc.

[amorremanet]

10 facts about meme: Lucy? And Adelaide, if you don't mind doing two?

send me one of my oc’s and i tell you ten facts about them

This is the shitty, “I fell asleep instead of doing this last night, and then, when I was almost fucking done, trying to make tumblr instant messenger stop doing something made it decide to click over somewhere else, and Firefox apparently doesn’t let the Lazarus extension work anymore, so I lost everything and am completely skimming out of frustration because the original was detailed and cool, and I lost basically all of it” version

LUCY

1. Has never completed a Pokémon game with a grass or water starter. She just doesn’t bond with them as much as she does with the fire starters, and any time she tries to pick a grass or water starter, she inevitably gives up, restarts, and picks the fire starter instead.

2. Since she turned 18, she’s made a point of giving blood as often as possible, because she’s type-O negative (the universal donor), and the Red Cross is pretty much always running short on blood, which can leave a lot of people totally screwed when they need to get transfusions.

3. Doesn’t believe in astrology and dismisses most of things in that vein as a cold-reading scam that’s based on exploiting people’s ability to project themselves onto anything…… but she does have an interest in dream interpretation.

4. She finds recipes confusing, and is even more befuddled by the Food Network and, “how to make [x baked goods]” videos on youtube, to the point that she finds them more stressful than getting a, “We need to talk” text from her parents. And yet, she is not confused by instructions in a chemistry lab.

5. She loves her red hair, but hates being called, “ginger.” It’s not that she thinks the word is offensive or anything; she just thinks that it sounds weird and slightly disgusting.

6. One of her favorite forms of, “teenage rebellion” was watching televangelists (or more accurately, having them on while she did other stuff because it’s really easy for Lucy to tune them out), which Lucy wouldn’t have liked so much if she’d actually paid attention to any of them (because of how televangelists exploit their viewers’ pain and suffering, get rich off of it, and don’t have to pay taxes on most of that money because they call it, “religious donations”) — but it did successfully annoy her very Catholic parents and very Catholic, “he’s a legit priest and everything” uncle.

7. A horror movie can be as political or politically coded as it wants. Unless it does something truly novel with the genre, like Get Out, then Lucy will probably just roll her eyes, complain about how many people value, “edginess” over quality, and then go watch The Great Mouse Detective for the umpteenth time. It’s not even that she gets squicked by horror movies, because she stops at dismissing all of them as edgelord garbage and doesn’t give them a chance.

8. She has even less patience for the films of Christopher Nolan, and literally the only one that she doesn’t go in too hard on is The Dark Knight, which only gets any consideration because Heath Ledger died not that long after making it, in ways that were pretty heavily associated with the movie in popular culture.

Not that she really cares about Heath Ledger, or even about the taboo on speaking ill of the dead, but she figures that he isn’t Ronald Reagan levels of terrible, or worse, so it’s easier to just not get into it with people over Heath Ledger when all that she wanted to say was that The Dark Knight isn’t actually that great

She will, however, talk shit about Ronald Reagan pretty much any time she’s given an opportunity, and especially if her Mom and Dad are around (because they were big Reaganites, back in the day, and annoying them with her hatred of the Gipper keeps them from paying attention to things like how her, “best friend” Sara Grace is actually her girlfriend)

9. Her answer to the question of whether she prefers cats or dogs will probably be something like, “iguanas” because she hates the assumption that it’s not possible to love cats and dogs more or less equally, but she also has better things to argue with people about.

10. She can’t whistle, she’s not really a very good dancer, and the last time she tried to tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue, she wound up swallowing it.

ADELAIDE

1. At 5’11”, Addie is taller than her big brother and their Mom (who are both 5’10”), and when standing up as best man when Max and Linda got married, she didn’t try to make him feel short, but she did wear a nice pair of heels and didn’t really go out of her way not to make him feel short, either.

2. By all rights, Addie probably should’ve been diagnosed with ADHD a while ago, but because her childhood and adolescence lasted from about 1986-2000 (when she turned 18), and because in 2017, ADHD is still badly misunderstood and under-diagnosed in AFAB kids, Addie got missed and made it to 33, thinking that all of her ADHD symptoms are just personal quirks or failings.

3. Her favorite color is purple. The darker the shade, the better.

4. Her ability to interpret song lyrics is often questionable. Like, on one hand, she’s totally made the mistake of hearing, “There’s a bathroom on the right” instead of, “There’s a bad moon on the rise” during the chorus of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising”

—and on the other hand, she completely missed that most of Missy Elliot’s “Work It” is explicitly about cunnilingus until Pete asked her what the Hell she thought the lyric, “Go downtown and eat it like a vulture” was referring to, especially given its proximity to Ms. Elliot talking about shaving her chocha. (All Addie has to say for herself is that she got caught up on the, “Girls, girls, get that cash / If it’s 9 to 5 or shakin’ your ass” verse.)

She also thought that Spice Girls were singing about group sex in “Wannabe,” rather than singing about making sure that your significant other can get along with your gal pals, and she kept thinking this until mid-September 2012.

5. As far as her family knows, Addie almost got arrested on her 18th birthday and had to run from the cops while she and a few friends were kinda drunk and screwing around in New York City. What really happened was that her birthday was on a Saturday, so they signed themselves out of school for the weekend, went to NYC, and saw the revival of Jesus Christ Superstar because her parents bought them tickets.

Then, they used fake ID’s to get some alcohol and got kinda drunk. Then, while they were screwing around in Brooklyn instead of going to cousin Jeremy’s place and crashing for the night, they wound up going by a gay bar, where Addie tripped over her own feet and got caught by a cute butch lesbian who happened to be dressed as a sexy cop for a themed party at said gay bar and had gone outside for a smoke break.

Then, one of Addie’s friends mistook this poor woman for a real cop and insisted that they run, and despite putting it together in the cold, sober light of day that there had been no actual danger, Addie told Sebastian the, “We so totally almost got arrested” story because she thought it sounded cooler, and at this point, it’s been 15 years, and she doesn’t see a point in correcting her family when her younger cousins get the, “Don’t get too rowdy on your 18th birthday or you may end up running from the cops like Adelaide” cautionary tale.

6. She would probably try to play real-world Quidditch, if she could get anyone to play with her, but that’s not going to happen, because everyone who knows her also knows that Addie is competitive as fuck, and that playing “muggle Quidditch” with her is a good way to get at least mildly injured.

7. She can see where the dislike that a lot of people in her life have for the All-Stars comes from, but personally, Addie doesn’t buy into it herself. She doesn’t really care to defend them, either, but at this point, she feels like most of the world’s problems can’t be solved with super-strength or heat vision, and they’re more complicated than the All-Stars’ image would allow them to handle, so it’s best to see the All-Stars as entertainers, rather than actual heroes.

Not that she begrudges anyone their annoyance with the fact that the All-Stars make, “we are actual heroes” a cornerstone of their so-called “brand,” but if you ask Addie, it’s not all that much different from how U.S. politicians lie up one side and down the other about basically everything, and how much of U.S. politics is increasingly little more than a theatre spectacle to cover up what’s actually going on

Oddly enough, Addie is accidentally on to something with that, because a lot of the supervillains in this universe are not truly participating in any shadowy conspiracy…… but they are being manipulated by members of one, and alternately being used as a source of talking points, or as distractions, so that the folks in said shadowy conspiracy (who are a mix of mutants and not) can push through their own agendas and try to secure their own power at the expense of anyone who gets in their way

Not that it’s really here or there at the moment, but this is totally going to bite them in the ass, partly from the people they’ve been exploiting and screwing over for decades putting shit together and pushing back, and partly because they decide to bank on installing a puppet who isn’t as easily controlled or as easily made to serve their agendas as they think. Anyway, as I was saying.

8. If Adelaide hadn’t gone into the family business and started vying with Max to see who’s going to become CEO when their Dad retires, she probably would’ve gone into advertising. If not that, she most likely would’ve gone to law school.

However, despite the fact that her Mom and several of her cousins are lawyers, Addie’s notions about how being a lawyer works are mostly derived from Legally Blonde, Ally McBeal, and Law and Order: SVU, so it might be a good thing that she has no idea what she’d actually want to do at law school.

9. Popular wisdom holds that she only isn’t the worst driver out of her siblings because Sebastian is the one who should’ve racked up multiple DUI charges by now, by all rights shouldn’t have his license anymore, and rarely uses it these days anyway because he, “doesn’t have PTSD, he just doesn’t like driving okay, it kinda freaks him out” (…which it does because of the PTSD that he allegedly doesn’t have but that’s another matter)

Addie holds that this popular wisdom is misogynistic bullshit being passed off as familial teasing, because actually, she’s a much better driver than all three of her brothers (with both cars and motorcycles, though only she and Seb have ever driven one of those, so it’s a little unfair to Max and Ambrose)

—and she may not know how to fix more complicated car problems, but she can at least get a better grasp on what might be wrong than, “I don’t know, it keeps making a thunka thunka thunka sound if you go above 60 mph” and she has more than once fixed something for her brothers that turned out to be something like, “You were driving with the parking brake on, dumb-ass”

10. Her go-to karaoke night songs are Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl” — the latter of which would be funnier to Adelaide if she’d intended to sound hella bi when she first started doing it, rather than picking it because she was kinda drunk and knew all the words, then getting really into singing it and having no conscious idea where those emotions were coming from